Sperm Test by John Cooper Clarke Lyrics

More on the sick
Down in the dumps
I went to the clinic
What about these lumps
Do you wear tight knickers
Have you ever had the mumps
Can't give it a rest
Break out the Lucozade
Make it the best
I'm engaged to my
Sperm test

The clinical arrangement
No phony bon-amie
Gleaming apparatus
Complete autonomy
Cynical estrangements don't bother me
Germ breed, negative mess
The rubber gloves called cold caress
Tells me I'm in love with my
Sperm test