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Three Failed Escape Attempts of Sheila Nail by Joe Iconis Lyrics

Genre: pop | Year: 2021

[DOROTHY, KITTY, RAT, YA-YA, spoken]
Tell her about it, Sheila!

[SHEILA]
First time I tried it, it was late at night
I tied some bedsheets together
Tied ’em up real tight

Tied one end to a drainpipe
Threw the other out the window
Ho-o-o-oh

Looked past the edge
Forty feet below
I threw my leg over
Thought “here I go”

And started climbing down the
Side of the building
Side of the building
Climbing right down (right down)
Got looks from the squirrels in the trees
And feelin’ the breeze
Across my nightgown (nightgown)

Then I was a few feet from freedom
I was just a few feet from freedom
Then I heard a “stop right there
Put your hands in the air”
And I knew that my plan was a fail

Well, gettin’ caught is the worst
And that was only the first
Of the three failed escape attempts of Sheila Nail

[SHEILA, DOROTHY, KITTY, RAT, YA-YA]
Three failed escape attempts of Sheila Nail
Three failed escape attempts of Sheila Nail

[SHEILA (DOROTHY, KITTY, RAT, YA-YA)]
Second time I tried, it was another day (hey)
There were bedsheets involved
But in a different way (hey!)

I hid inside the laundry bin
You would not believe the things I saw
Sha-na-na-na
Waited for hours
Thought I’s gonna get stuck
Then the orderly starts pushing me
Towards his truck

Which meant that we was headed
Out of the building
Out of the building
Headed right out (right out)

I was covered in clothes
Through a hole in some hose
I saw a light sprout (saw a little light sprout)
Knew I was a few feet from freedom
Really just a few feet from freedom

Then I heard the orderly shout
“Look, a foot’s stickin’ out!”
And he lifted off my veil

Oh yeah, the warden was beckoned
And so goes the second
Of the three failed escape attempts of Sheila Nail

And after that I said forget the clever plan
I saw an opportunity
And I just ran
Got as far as the highway
Stuck out my thumb
A car slowed up and here the warden come
She called me a filthy malcontent
And yeah, that was exactly how the third time went

[RAT, spoken]
And when they brought her back, she pulled a drainpipe down!

[DOROTHY, spoken]
Flooded the whole floor

[KITTY, spoken]
Screw you, Miss Asp!

[YA-YA, spoken]
So badass!

[SUSANNAH, spoken]
That’s quite a story. Unbelievable, in fact…

[SHEILA]
But that ain't really how it happened
It’s just what I say
'Cause I did get in the car
And as it drove away

I thought of where I came from
I thought of where I’d go, oh
Where am I gonna sleep tonight?
I don’t know

I ain’t got no family
Got no coin in my purse
Yeah, life was bad at school
Life before it was worse

And I ain’t been a civilian
Since ‘53
And I’m sure the world’s changed
Substantially

And Nation is scary
And so, so unfair
But at least I have a purpose
And I’m respected there

Hey driver, hey driver
Hey, I’m not of age
You best take me back
Back back back to my cage

And back to Nation I went
Oh so embarrassingly
Of my own consent

Last time I tried it
Was a different affair
I tied some bedsheets together
And I stood on a chair

I tied one end to a drainpipe
The other ‘round my neck
Ah heck

Without any prep, I took a step

I could feel the air leave my body
Air leave my body
It got real tight

I never copped to this kind of shit
But I have to admit
It didn’t feel right

And I was just a few breaths from freedom
But it didn’t feel much like freedom

And then the drainpipe broke
And I let out a croak

And the water rained down on me

[SHEILA, spoken]
I don’t believe in signs, but I can read between the lines

[SHEILA]
So I guess this is where I’m supposed to be
Hey

[SHEILA (DOROTHY, KITTY, RAT, YA-YA)]
And with the rain pouring down
Inside of the building
Pouring right down (right down)

[SHEILA]
I lit a hidden cigarette
As I stood soaking wet
In my nightgown (nightgown)

Bars and cages
Defined my freedom
Now I make my
Own kind of freedom

Running away is a bore
So I don’t do that no more
I see a battle, I fight
I’m my own shining white knight

I may be fucked in my head
But hey, at least I ain’t dead
And babe I’m gon-na-na-na-na-na prevail

By now you oughta derive that
‘Cause I fought, I survived
And the three failed escape attempts of Sheila Nail

[DOROTHY, KITTY, RAT, YA-YA]
Three failed escape attempts of Shelia Nail
Three failed escape attempts of Shelia Nail

[SHELIA (DOROTHY, KITTY, RAT, YA-YA)]
Freedom (freedom), I lived to tell the tale
Of the three failed escape attempts of Sheila Nail (three failed escape attempts of Sheila Nail)