Experiment 1 by Jessy_r Lyrics
The silence was dense enough for Violet to hear the ticking from her wristwatch. She sighed, her lips pursing together. He’s late again, she thought. Her eyes pricked and she swallowed, refusing to betray herself in this glorified coffee shop. After this, there will be no more hoping. Just closure. She dipped her chin to arrange her scarf, trying to mask her neck. It was warm near her pulse and her cold hands reached for her mug, the coffee bitter like her.
***
He had begged her, over and over, to the point that she couldn’t stand being followed anymore and said yes.
“Really?” Luke beamed, his smile betraying his usual cool composure. She flushed, her pupils widening under his stare. He took her hand, coated in sand, and she peeked out from the strands of her hair thrashing in the wind to see him bend down to kiss it.
“Don’t!” she protested, squirming out of his reach and bolting for the water. He growled happily into the wind, and when he caught her by the waist, they had crashed into the waves. As she came up for air, a layer of sticky salt on her, he couldn’t help himself. He sealed his lips onto hers as she inhaled, breathing him in. It wasn’t until years later that she came up for air.
***
“Oh my god, Violet, hi,” Luke exclaimed, his words not catching up with his excitement as he hurtled himself indoors from the cold. He had spotted her immediately, hovering over her for a hug. But her steel eyes had frozen him. He crashed into the chair in front of her, ripping off his gloves.
“How are you? I’ve missed you. You look great,” he rattled on, repeating them like mantras. The rims of his eyes were still red, and the beanie over his bushy brown hair was fraying. Violet gave him a pitiful look, her gaze falling to the wood of the table. She ran her finger along the edge. When he reached for her hand, Violet tucked it back in her lap.
“I thought you were off the smack,” she stated to the table, shaking her head. “I guess it doesn’t matter anymore.” Luke mirrored her actions, vigorous and unstable, hearing his own words from a lifetime ago.
“No, no, no no no I’m good, promise,” he lied. Like he did every time.
***
The night he had driven her out to the state park with just a picnic basket and blankets in the back of his pickup was one she still dreamed about. Because he had been her dream. They’d set up a tent and abandoned it when the poles crumbled on them, their fit of laughter sending them back to the pickup in the chill.
“It’s bright enough,” Luke said, pointing up to the stars.
“How romantic,” Violet crooned sarcastically, her eyes rolling. “Sleeping under the stars and all that jazz.” He shrugged, cracking half a smile.
“Well, it doesn’t matter anymore. I found my brightest star,” he said, deadpanned. She swallowed, not wanting to give away how hard her heart had jumped at that.
Some days, Violet would recall that line and break at the realization her heart no longer did that.
***
“I’m not even supposed to be here,” she snapped suddenly at his lie, smacking her hand at the table. “But I wanted to give you the benefit of knowing. Of not being caught completely off guard.” Violet’s wall had come back up and she was simply stating facts now, like her lawyer had trained her.
“I will be testifying, and I will not lie on the stand for you, Luke. With all my heart and soul, I hope nothing but for you to recover. But I can’t cover for you anymore.”
Luke’s happy expression cracked, his mouth drooping at the edges. She’d seen the same reaction the first time she walked in on him snorting powder off a coffee table. Like a child caught sneaking candy.
“Babe, what are you talking about? No no no no no I’m good. Promise. Baby, come on,” he pleaded, the aftershock of his high still in his shaking hands as he reached for her again. She swatted his hand. And it sliced her in two all over again. So she gripped it, harder than she ever had. He gaped at her as her eyes pooled.
“I’m sorry, but I can’t keep loving a star that’s burning out,” she whispered, her voice shaking. Luke froze again as she dropped his hand. In a trance, he stood, his gaze fixed on nothing, and walked towards the door. Violet sniffed quietly into a napkin, refusing to ever look at him again.
She didn’t see him walk out. Neither did any of the patrons. She didn’t see him leap from the curb in front of the garbage truck. She didn’t even hear her own screams as she cradled what was left of her star on the sidewalk, feeling her own heart jump once again.
***
He had begged her, over and over, to the point that she couldn’t stand being followed anymore and said yes.
“Really?” Luke beamed, his smile betraying his usual cool composure. She flushed, her pupils widening under his stare. He took her hand, coated in sand, and she peeked out from the strands of her hair thrashing in the wind to see him bend down to kiss it.
“Don’t!” she protested, squirming out of his reach and bolting for the water. He growled happily into the wind, and when he caught her by the waist, they had crashed into the waves. As she came up for air, a layer of sticky salt on her, he couldn’t help himself. He sealed his lips onto hers as she inhaled, breathing him in. It wasn’t until years later that she came up for air.
***
“Oh my god, Violet, hi,” Luke exclaimed, his words not catching up with his excitement as he hurtled himself indoors from the cold. He had spotted her immediately, hovering over her for a hug. But her steel eyes had frozen him. He crashed into the chair in front of her, ripping off his gloves.
“How are you? I’ve missed you. You look great,” he rattled on, repeating them like mantras. The rims of his eyes were still red, and the beanie over his bushy brown hair was fraying. Violet gave him a pitiful look, her gaze falling to the wood of the table. She ran her finger along the edge. When he reached for her hand, Violet tucked it back in her lap.
“I thought you were off the smack,” she stated to the table, shaking her head. “I guess it doesn’t matter anymore.” Luke mirrored her actions, vigorous and unstable, hearing his own words from a lifetime ago.
“No, no, no no no I’m good, promise,” he lied. Like he did every time.
***
The night he had driven her out to the state park with just a picnic basket and blankets in the back of his pickup was one she still dreamed about. Because he had been her dream. They’d set up a tent and abandoned it when the poles crumbled on them, their fit of laughter sending them back to the pickup in the chill.
“It’s bright enough,” Luke said, pointing up to the stars.
“How romantic,” Violet crooned sarcastically, her eyes rolling. “Sleeping under the stars and all that jazz.” He shrugged, cracking half a smile.
“Well, it doesn’t matter anymore. I found my brightest star,” he said, deadpanned. She swallowed, not wanting to give away how hard her heart had jumped at that.
Some days, Violet would recall that line and break at the realization her heart no longer did that.
***
“I’m not even supposed to be here,” she snapped suddenly at his lie, smacking her hand at the table. “But I wanted to give you the benefit of knowing. Of not being caught completely off guard.” Violet’s wall had come back up and she was simply stating facts now, like her lawyer had trained her.
“I will be testifying, and I will not lie on the stand for you, Luke. With all my heart and soul, I hope nothing but for you to recover. But I can’t cover for you anymore.”
Luke’s happy expression cracked, his mouth drooping at the edges. She’d seen the same reaction the first time she walked in on him snorting powder off a coffee table. Like a child caught sneaking candy.
“Babe, what are you talking about? No no no no no I’m good. Promise. Baby, come on,” he pleaded, the aftershock of his high still in his shaking hands as he reached for her again. She swatted his hand. And it sliced her in two all over again. So she gripped it, harder than she ever had. He gaped at her as her eyes pooled.
“I’m sorry, but I can’t keep loving a star that’s burning out,” she whispered, her voice shaking. Luke froze again as she dropped his hand. In a trance, he stood, his gaze fixed on nothing, and walked towards the door. Violet sniffed quietly into a napkin, refusing to ever look at him again.
She didn’t see him walk out. Neither did any of the patrons. She didn’t see him leap from the curb in front of the garbage truck. She didn’t even hear her own screams as she cradled what was left of her star on the sidewalk, feeling her own heart jump once again.