Intro/ Phones - Live 1998 Broadhurst Theatre by Jerry Seinfeld Lyrics

Ladies and Gentlemen, Jerry Seinfeld
(Applause)
Ok! Good night, Good night everybody!
Well well well...
I can't believe you made it
I don't even know how you got tickets!
Broke it
Not a very good one, I see
(Laughter)
My guy got me right on stage!
This is the Broadhurst Theater, it's a uh, legendary theater
I know nothing about it
I picked it because uh- Oh, lemme get that, let me get that
That's for me, I asked them to hold my phone
That is so embarassing, isn't it?
I'm surprised it doesn't happen more often though
Because it's harder to- Oh wait, turn it on the vibrate
Oh the phones, what, oh we have gone nuts with the phones, haven't we?
We're crazy with the phones
This guy thinks he needs that phone
The thing that amuses me the most about the phone machine is how often we call people now, trying to get the machine
That's what's happened now with the machine, the person picks up and you're...
"Oh... I uh, oh I didn't- I didn't think you would be there... I just wanted to leave a message saying 'Sorry I missed you'..."