Atkins Santa Claus by Irishtoothache Lyrics
[Verse 1]
Mrs. Claus thinks Santa Claus is getting way too fat
So Mrs. Claus sits down on Santa's Lap
And she says:
"Honey, all I want for Christmas this year
Is the man I married, I know he's still in there
Somewhere
Beneath those rolls of flab
Somewhere
Because I want him back
So will you try this diet out
It doesn't sound that hard
The only thing you gotta do
Is stay away from carbs!"
"Hm...okay I'll do it!"
[Chorus]
So Santa Claus is on the Atkins Diet this year
He's cutting out the carbs
So he can spread more Christmas cheer
So if you see a skinny guy
Coming down your chimney quick
Put the box of cookies away!
Break out the meat!
It's the new and improved jolly old Saint Nick - Go!
[Verse 2]
So Santa started losing weight
Hе started to look great
He atе those Atkins bars
He drank those Atkins shakes
And he thought:
"Think of all the joy I'll bring on Christmas this year
With my Atkins body
Maybe I'll even shave my beard
I feel like a new man!"
Yes his beard!
"This Christmas will be grand!"
But something didn't feel quite right
And soon every elf did know
This brand new Atkins Santa Claus
Couldn't Ho-Ho-Ho...
"He-He-He, oh no!"
[Chorus]
Cause Santa Claus is on the Atkins Diet this year
He's cutting out the carbs
So he can spread more Christmas cheer
So if you see a skinny guy
Coming down your chimney quick
Put the plate of cookies away!
Break out the meat!
It's the new and improved jolly old Saint Nick - Go!
Yeaaah! It's the-
Atkins Diet!
Boo da loo boo boo da boo boo boo da boo
Atkins Diet!
I said Santa Claus on the
He's on the-
Atkins Diet!
[Bridge]
Okay, slow it down right here
On Christmas Eve
Santa rides on his slay
Wearing Diesel jeans of size 33
The elves were sad cause Santa couldn't see
This isn't how Christmas was supposed to be
But at the first house Santa went to
A boy had left out some cookie dough
"Hm...maybe I'll just have one bite"
And Santa...well...
He ate the whole bowl and then he shouted:
"Ho-Ho-Ho! Merry Christmas!"
[Chorus]
So Santa Claus is off the Atkins Diet this year
He's bringing back the carbs
So he can bring back Christmas cheer
So if you see a skinny guy
Coming down your chimney quick
Get the plate of cookies out
You gotta feed that man!
He's our one and only holly jolly old Saint Nick - Go!
"Oh...Ho-Ho-Ho"
Atkins Diet!
"Haha, I feel great! Yeah"
Atkins Diet!
"I said Santa Claus was on the
I was on the-"
Atkins Diet!
"But now I'm not. Yeah
Oh man, I am hungry
Rudolf, bring me some cookies
I don't care what you're doing
Get over here
You red nosed - just look at you"
Mrs. Claus thinks Santa Claus is getting way too fat
So Mrs. Claus sits down on Santa's Lap
And she says:
"Honey, all I want for Christmas this year
Is the man I married, I know he's still in there
Somewhere
Beneath those rolls of flab
Somewhere
Because I want him back
So will you try this diet out
It doesn't sound that hard
The only thing you gotta do
Is stay away from carbs!"
"Hm...okay I'll do it!"
[Chorus]
So Santa Claus is on the Atkins Diet this year
He's cutting out the carbs
So he can spread more Christmas cheer
So if you see a skinny guy
Coming down your chimney quick
Put the box of cookies away!
Break out the meat!
It's the new and improved jolly old Saint Nick - Go!
[Verse 2]
So Santa started losing weight
Hе started to look great
He atе those Atkins bars
He drank those Atkins shakes
And he thought:
"Think of all the joy I'll bring on Christmas this year
With my Atkins body
Maybe I'll even shave my beard
I feel like a new man!"
Yes his beard!
"This Christmas will be grand!"
But something didn't feel quite right
And soon every elf did know
This brand new Atkins Santa Claus
Couldn't Ho-Ho-Ho...
"He-He-He, oh no!"
[Chorus]
Cause Santa Claus is on the Atkins Diet this year
He's cutting out the carbs
So he can spread more Christmas cheer
So if you see a skinny guy
Coming down your chimney quick
Put the plate of cookies away!
Break out the meat!
It's the new and improved jolly old Saint Nick - Go!
Yeaaah! It's the-
Atkins Diet!
Boo da loo boo boo da boo boo boo da boo
Atkins Diet!
I said Santa Claus on the
He's on the-
Atkins Diet!
[Bridge]
Okay, slow it down right here
On Christmas Eve
Santa rides on his slay
Wearing Diesel jeans of size 33
The elves were sad cause Santa couldn't see
This isn't how Christmas was supposed to be
But at the first house Santa went to
A boy had left out some cookie dough
"Hm...maybe I'll just have one bite"
And Santa...well...
He ate the whole bowl and then he shouted:
"Ho-Ho-Ho! Merry Christmas!"
[Chorus]
So Santa Claus is off the Atkins Diet this year
He's bringing back the carbs
So he can bring back Christmas cheer
So if you see a skinny guy
Coming down your chimney quick
Get the plate of cookies out
You gotta feed that man!
He's our one and only holly jolly old Saint Nick - Go!
"Oh...Ho-Ho-Ho"
Atkins Diet!
"Haha, I feel great! Yeah"
Atkins Diet!
"I said Santa Claus was on the
I was on the-"
Atkins Diet!
"But now I'm not. Yeah
Oh man, I am hungry
Rudolf, bring me some cookies
I don't care what you're doing
Get over here
You red nosed - just look at you"