Little Black Jumpsuit by Ged Howarth Lyrics
Its hard to fight it when it's running through your system
Poison dripping down your heart so hard it makes your blood hurt
And it makes a difference if it's never shown resistance
But resisting resistance is how to start to make the worst worse
So I'm just urging the version of a person who just keeps searching
For a cure for this curse that keeps making his heart burst
But I'll just reverse to the first time that it ever skipped a beat
Because this is what I saw
She had bright blonde hair, deep green eyes, a little black jumpsuit
And not to be crude but a body I would die for
A kinna vibe that takes you by surprise that I would kill for
And she hates it but a smile I think is worth being alive for just to see
I'd never seen her but for some reason it seemed like I just want to know her stories and her visions and her dreams
And even though my heart was pounding, already intrigued
The second time it skipped a beat was in the second she looked back at me
Our eyes locked and to me the whole world stopped and as my mind dropped to the floor it felt different
Because my heart had never really shown resistance and I realised I dont want to fight her running through my system
The third time it ever skipped a beat was when I went back
I looked her up on facebook and I saw her wearing all black
Just like the night I met her, exactly how I remembered
Just as beautiful and elegant and just as hard to forget her
The fourth time it ever skipped a beat was when she messaged me
Telling me she heard my music and was proud
She said she's sorry and she didn't want to pester me
But she thought I had ability to stand out from the crowd
The fifth time was when she came to see me because I missed her
The sixth was when I kissed her on our bench facing the river
And since then it's not gone back to beating in a steady rhythm
But I know that's the same for her as well
I've heard time's a great healer so I'll just try to stop chasing and make face with the face of the clock and just wait for the pain to stop
Watching my watch dropping autonomy that's got to me within philosophy of resustaining what your rain has washed
Existing within an existential pursuit consumed by a certainty in an unidentified feeling of uncertainty
I certainly have a suspended tendency to gauge my eyes out in the face of pain to blind myself of the gift of the present only to look over my shoulder with a vision of 20/20
But even with a birds eye view of hindsight I might never find the seed of doubt planted within the establishment of the root of our happiness before its sacrilege
I saw your saw saw it, my sordid sores of sortilege
Absorbing distorted stories and forging forms of falling caught between your loss of breath as you whispered you were branching out
And the feeling of worms infesting wood as my breath leaves
I miss the little place we used to go for food
We bought the same thing every time because if this ever ended
And we always thought it shouldn't and we never thought it would
But if it ever did, we'd have a routine to remember that you'd think about now
Like every time we had an empty house your legs would tremble then I blew your mind when I went down
Your eyes and your body told me your thoughts no need to think aloud
And the love and the passion we had for us just all came pouring out
I've bottled up the pain of glass going through my stomach
The pain of having liver pulled out of my chest
I'm left right back here fighting southpaw for a summit
Up and down because I've found there's no more ground left to be covered
So I'll conform to the informative but poisonous thoughts that drip from the mouth of my instability that you left
When you racked your brain for a reason not to pack up your things and head
But in the end I guess you guessed you'd be left in less of a mess if you depend on the voice of your stress that stressed the evidence it created to suggest that there's just nothing left
But instead of running with the test of your stress I just wish you'd let me hold all the colours that run through you in the palms of my hands so I wouldn't have to watch them run down your face and your neck
And in yours you could return to holding my body and my mind instead of my soul because in the end we're all just islands
And if I trip over premonition my soul is something that I can wreck
I still remember when that guy took advantage
It broke you but you're so strong and I don't know how you managed
And you never gave up fighting wrong not only for the masses but for yourself as well, you should know you should never give up standing
You told me that the police had stopped investigating, no use waiting, all of your patience had gone to waste and my heart just shattered
Because yours was broken into shards that scarred the part of you that never wanted to vanish
I know you're going through some shit that isn't easy but recently I've hidden dark parts you've never seen of me
And in that way we're exactly the same and we can get through it together just by picking up the pieces of each other
Reading another chapter past the cover hoping the story ends with you and me so if you want to
Speak to me, bleed to me, scream to me, any time you're needing me
I'll be here to help you up so you recover
My mother's words have stopped me crying every single day
My sister's words have stopped me dying every time I break
I break a lot but all my friends have bent me back in place
Always with me on the phone to check if I'm ok
But I'm not, without you it's just not the same
I wanna grab your hand and tell you that you'll be ok
I wanna call you just to ask you all about your day
I wanna tell you every night my love will never change
But the pain of love's reluctance to change just adjusts to the disease that's infecting my brain and we can't take
How diseases find a way to dictate
Our ambition until we lose the motivation to escape
And maybe the way to escape the pain of breaking off again is staying away to take the strain away and play it safe
But you told me on the phone not to call you babe so, darling, I dont know what to do without you
What's my deepest fear
Is it the feeling of feeling too deceased to be revived?
Or not being dead enough to need saving?
Or maybe it's the thought of having to feel alive now that you're gone
Because ever since I met you you've changed everything in such a way that every night I've fallen asleep so excited to wake up again
And I just wanna say thank you for fixing me, then building me, then shaping me into the man that I am today
And I've kept every little thing you've ever given me all in a box under my bed that's now become a part of me
But what I've held onto the tightest is the promise I made when I said I'd always love you and I'm a man of my word so that's exactly what I'm gonna do
Because every time I've ever made you smile it's just confirmed I was right with what I said before, it's worth being alive for
And from this day forward what if I never get to make that happen
And what if I dont get to say goodbye to your mum
And what if twisting my wrists won't turn the hands back to before our souls decide to touch, and before I was broken
And what if I don't get to see that little black jumpsuit
And I'm fucking sorry
And I love you
And I hope you never have to feel this pain in your life again and all the little dreams you've ever had, I hope they come true
I'm just scared that someone else will find the same in you
And passes you his number on a note above his name and he smiles at you and turns away and I can only pray that you would recall the night we met because this is what you saw
He had dark blonde hair, deep blue eyes, a guitar
And a way of staring straight into your soul that you would die for
A kinna vibe that took you by surprise that you would kill for just enough to show that smile I think is worth being alive for
So if you're searching for some hope do what I do and tell your heart to recreate the first time that it ever skipped a beat
And please just remember me
Poison dripping down your heart so hard it makes your blood hurt
And it makes a difference if it's never shown resistance
But resisting resistance is how to start to make the worst worse
So I'm just urging the version of a person who just keeps searching
For a cure for this curse that keeps making his heart burst
But I'll just reverse to the first time that it ever skipped a beat
Because this is what I saw
She had bright blonde hair, deep green eyes, a little black jumpsuit
And not to be crude but a body I would die for
A kinna vibe that takes you by surprise that I would kill for
And she hates it but a smile I think is worth being alive for just to see
I'd never seen her but for some reason it seemed like I just want to know her stories and her visions and her dreams
And even though my heart was pounding, already intrigued
The second time it skipped a beat was in the second she looked back at me
Our eyes locked and to me the whole world stopped and as my mind dropped to the floor it felt different
Because my heart had never really shown resistance and I realised I dont want to fight her running through my system
The third time it ever skipped a beat was when I went back
I looked her up on facebook and I saw her wearing all black
Just like the night I met her, exactly how I remembered
Just as beautiful and elegant and just as hard to forget her
The fourth time it ever skipped a beat was when she messaged me
Telling me she heard my music and was proud
She said she's sorry and she didn't want to pester me
But she thought I had ability to stand out from the crowd
The fifth time was when she came to see me because I missed her
The sixth was when I kissed her on our bench facing the river
And since then it's not gone back to beating in a steady rhythm
But I know that's the same for her as well
I've heard time's a great healer so I'll just try to stop chasing and make face with the face of the clock and just wait for the pain to stop
Watching my watch dropping autonomy that's got to me within philosophy of resustaining what your rain has washed
Existing within an existential pursuit consumed by a certainty in an unidentified feeling of uncertainty
I certainly have a suspended tendency to gauge my eyes out in the face of pain to blind myself of the gift of the present only to look over my shoulder with a vision of 20/20
But even with a birds eye view of hindsight I might never find the seed of doubt planted within the establishment of the root of our happiness before its sacrilege
I saw your saw saw it, my sordid sores of sortilege
Absorbing distorted stories and forging forms of falling caught between your loss of breath as you whispered you were branching out
And the feeling of worms infesting wood as my breath leaves
I miss the little place we used to go for food
We bought the same thing every time because if this ever ended
And we always thought it shouldn't and we never thought it would
But if it ever did, we'd have a routine to remember that you'd think about now
Like every time we had an empty house your legs would tremble then I blew your mind when I went down
Your eyes and your body told me your thoughts no need to think aloud
And the love and the passion we had for us just all came pouring out
I've bottled up the pain of glass going through my stomach
The pain of having liver pulled out of my chest
I'm left right back here fighting southpaw for a summit
Up and down because I've found there's no more ground left to be covered
So I'll conform to the informative but poisonous thoughts that drip from the mouth of my instability that you left
When you racked your brain for a reason not to pack up your things and head
But in the end I guess you guessed you'd be left in less of a mess if you depend on the voice of your stress that stressed the evidence it created to suggest that there's just nothing left
But instead of running with the test of your stress I just wish you'd let me hold all the colours that run through you in the palms of my hands so I wouldn't have to watch them run down your face and your neck
And in yours you could return to holding my body and my mind instead of my soul because in the end we're all just islands
And if I trip over premonition my soul is something that I can wreck
I still remember when that guy took advantage
It broke you but you're so strong and I don't know how you managed
And you never gave up fighting wrong not only for the masses but for yourself as well, you should know you should never give up standing
You told me that the police had stopped investigating, no use waiting, all of your patience had gone to waste and my heart just shattered
Because yours was broken into shards that scarred the part of you that never wanted to vanish
I know you're going through some shit that isn't easy but recently I've hidden dark parts you've never seen of me
And in that way we're exactly the same and we can get through it together just by picking up the pieces of each other
Reading another chapter past the cover hoping the story ends with you and me so if you want to
Speak to me, bleed to me, scream to me, any time you're needing me
I'll be here to help you up so you recover
My mother's words have stopped me crying every single day
My sister's words have stopped me dying every time I break
I break a lot but all my friends have bent me back in place
Always with me on the phone to check if I'm ok
But I'm not, without you it's just not the same
I wanna grab your hand and tell you that you'll be ok
I wanna call you just to ask you all about your day
I wanna tell you every night my love will never change
But the pain of love's reluctance to change just adjusts to the disease that's infecting my brain and we can't take
How diseases find a way to dictate
Our ambition until we lose the motivation to escape
And maybe the way to escape the pain of breaking off again is staying away to take the strain away and play it safe
But you told me on the phone not to call you babe so, darling, I dont know what to do without you
What's my deepest fear
Is it the feeling of feeling too deceased to be revived?
Or not being dead enough to need saving?
Or maybe it's the thought of having to feel alive now that you're gone
Because ever since I met you you've changed everything in such a way that every night I've fallen asleep so excited to wake up again
And I just wanna say thank you for fixing me, then building me, then shaping me into the man that I am today
And I've kept every little thing you've ever given me all in a box under my bed that's now become a part of me
But what I've held onto the tightest is the promise I made when I said I'd always love you and I'm a man of my word so that's exactly what I'm gonna do
Because every time I've ever made you smile it's just confirmed I was right with what I said before, it's worth being alive for
And from this day forward what if I never get to make that happen
And what if I dont get to say goodbye to your mum
And what if twisting my wrists won't turn the hands back to before our souls decide to touch, and before I was broken
And what if I don't get to see that little black jumpsuit
And I'm fucking sorry
And I love you
And I hope you never have to feel this pain in your life again and all the little dreams you've ever had, I hope they come true
I'm just scared that someone else will find the same in you
And passes you his number on a note above his name and he smiles at you and turns away and I can only pray that you would recall the night we met because this is what you saw
He had dark blonde hair, deep blue eyes, a guitar
And a way of staring straight into your soul that you would die for
A kinna vibe that took you by surprise that you would kill for just enough to show that smile I think is worth being alive for
So if you're searching for some hope do what I do and tell your heart to recreate the first time that it ever skipped a beat
And please just remember me