31st Century Fox by Futurama Lyrics
PROFESSOR:
Crew on deck.
HERMES:
How was the delivery to Tokyo?
FRY:
Not bad, Mothzilla got into the ship's closet, though.
AMY: Can we please get new uniforms now, Professor? You said you would replace them a year ago.
PROFESSOR:
You can't expect me to honor what year-ago Professor said. That guy was young and foolish. There's nothing wrong with these uniforms that a few denim patches won't fix.
Professor and Hermes screaming after being attacked by Mothzilla
PROFESSOR:
Oh, all right.
HERMES:
To the garment district!
Planet Express ship lands. Door opens, bell jingles.
DECAPODIAN TAILOR:
Come in, come in. Can I offer you maybe a nice macaroon cut in seven pieces?
ZOIDBERG:
Oy, such a stereotype.
PROFESSOR:
Yes, I'm looking for something in a space uniform that's respectfully humiliating but can come out of an employee's salary without his noticing.
DECAPODIAN TAILOR:
You got it. Tomorrow's clothes at yesterday's prices. Ah, you can't go wrong with a stillsuit. It recycles your solid waste into a nice piece gefilte fish.
FRY:
Ugh, is there a way to just keep it as solid waste?
PROFESSOR:
Now here's something we can all agree on.
Leela shudders
DECAPODIAN TAILOR:
Ah, the Stardoz 2293. Not for everybody, but you pull it off.
AMY:
Please don't pull it off.
BENDER:
Yo, squidward scissorhands, you got this in an adult robot medium?
DECAPODIAN TAILOR:
The foxhunting uniform? You, sir, must be a robot of noble bearings.
BENDER:
Well, I am descended from prince Albert's can.
LEELA:
I think we've seen enough. Too much, actually. Come on, let's try somewhere else.
DECAPODIAN TAILOR:
Wait, wait, perhaps discerning customers like yourselves would be interested in an item from our discount rack.
PROFESSOR:
Quality is the most important thing. How much is it?
DECAPODIAN TAILOR:
90% off. An unpleasant fellow ordered them last year but never paid. Most unpleasant, that one.
PROFESSOR:
That sounds like something year-ago Professor would do. We'll take them.
AMY:
Finally, a uniform I'd be happy to be caught dead in.
ZOIDBERG:
And, boy, does it wick away moisture gallons and gallons of it.
LEELA:
Plus, they're stitched in such a way that, no matter what angle it's viewed from, it looks like you're standing in hero wind.
FRY:
I just wish my fists weren't sewn to my belt. grunts
BENDER:
Hey, what's Bender wearing instead of that crap?
LEELA:
Oh, lord. Did you actually buy that getup?
BENDER:
We fox-hunters do not stoop to buy get-ups. I made free with it.
HERMES:
Since when do you care or even know about foxhunting?
BENDER:
Foxhunting is an ancient and noble pursuit that's fascinated me ever since I first heard of it ten minutes ago.
LEELA:
Noble pursuit? What's noble about killing a defenseless animal?
BENDER:
Don't be naive, Leela. We kill defenseless animals all the time. Look at Hermes's tortoise-shell glasses. The Professor's walrus-ivory teeth, and don't forget the zebra-fur ship cozy.
Overlapping chatter: Yeah, I guess you're right. He's got a point.
BENDER:
See, Leela, there are two sides to every shameful act. What you call the atrocity of crazed dogs tearing a helpless fox to shreds, others call a pleasant jaunt in the park.
LEELA:
The first thing.
BENDER:
Come see for yourself. Join me on the morrow as I embark on my maiden hunt. I said join me! whip sound
LEELA:
This is my best protest sign ever, and it was easy because I started with a "save the ox" sign I already had.
Horse neighs
FRY:
Wow, where'd you get the horse?
BENDER:
None of your business.
noble music
OLD LADY:
Ah, young man, one does not drink from a champagne fountain in that manner.
FRY:
But he's doing it.
Bender chuckles
BENDER:
Check out this dork.
HUNTMASTER:
I, sir, am the master of the hunt and I'll thank you to behave like a gentleman.
BENDER:
You're quite welcome, sir.
Belches fire.
Ah, yes, foxhunting. If there's one thing I know, it's everything about it. What's that weird cat?
HUNTMASTER:
Groans This is the fox we'll be hunting today.
BENDER:
Wow, this is easier than I thought.
HUNTMASTER:
The sport is in the chase, sir. The fox gets a 30-minute head start.
BENDER:
Man, it would have been so much easier to kill it in the cage.
Timer buzzes.
HUNTMASTER:
Let the hunt begin.
Dogs barking.
Whooping raucously.
LEELA:
Stop, this is cruel and inhumane.
HUNTMASTER:
Well, now, in all my years as a huntmaster, I've never seen anything like this. I mean, look at that sign. It's magnificent.
LEELA:
Chuckling: Oh, thank you. I used a ruler and I erased all the pencil lines when I was finished.
HUNTMASTER:
Charming. Now, into the ditch with you.
Leela screams.
Barking.
FRY:
So the dogs do all the work while we sportsmen enjoy a nice horsey ride?
ELDERLY FOXHUNTER:
Precisely. I see you've caught the fever.
HUNTMASTER:
Keep your wits about you. I've blanketed these woods with devious traps to ward off poachers and protesters.
LEELA:
Stop the bloodshed, stop the violence. Screams
BENDER:
Laughs I saw that coming from a mile away! Horse neighing
HUNTMASTER:
Chuckles Be more careful, friend. My anti-gravity snares are virtually undetectable.
BENDER:
I saw it coming from a mile a Bender grunts, horse neighs
FEMALE FOXHUNTER:
View halloo, view halloo.
BENDER:
View halloo? All right. What does that mean?
FEMALE FOXHUNTER:
The fox has been sighted.
Barking
BENDER:
Oh, yeah, get that fox. Go, dogs, go.
Barking
Bender's horse neighs as it flips in mid air
BENDER:
Eh, either way.
Fox whimpering, dogs barking
LEELA:
Oh, God, this is horrible. I can't watch.
BENDER:
Scoffs You humans always say you don't want to see violence, but you know you do. I defy you not to watch.
LEELA:
A robot fox? Huh, I guess I'm okay with this after all.
BENDER:
Well, I'm not. Robot foxhunting is a crime against robo-nature. Stop the bloodshed, stop the viol Screams
Growling
BENDER:
How can you do this to a poor, defenseless robot animal? You people are sick, and you foxhounds are no better.
HUNTMASTER:
They're not foxhounds. They're springer spaniels, you twit. Or rather spring-powered spaniels.
BENDER:
Gasps Bot-on-bot violence? Where will it end?
HUNTMASTER:
Not with the dogs. Come here, sea gasket.
Robot horse neighs
Hyah!
Neighs, turns into a helicopter, explodes crashing into a tree.
BENDER:
No! You, sir, are a heartless monster, and you will rue the day you met me. Also, can I get my parking validated?
Robo-horse stamps the ticket.
BENDER:
The time has come to end injustice against robot animals.
Crowd cheering.
BENDER:
No dog track rabbit should be used to test cosmetics, no robot cow should have to be milked by a milking machine, and no milking machine should have to milk a robot cow.
LEELA:
Those injustices don't even exist.
BENDER:
Then, let's find some that do.
Transition to robo-chicken farm.
BENDER:
Robot chickens weren't made to be jammed in cubicles and forced to lay eggs.
ROBO-FARMER:
Actually, they was.
Clucking
BENDER:
I'll save you. Run free, sweet robo-hen.
Clucks
BENDER:
Enough with the tenderizing. It's time for a Benderizing.
ROBO-BUTCHER:
Hey, you people can't just burst in like that and cut off my hand. You got to take a number.
BENDER:
Shooting innocent robot ducks is wrong. Fly away. Fly away, my pretties.
Squawks
Cheering
FRY:
Congratulations, Bender, you've ended robot animal cruelty within a 20-yard radius of this building. You ready to call it a day, or do you have one more score to settle?
BENDER:
The second thing.
Whimpers
HUNTMASTER:
The weekly hunt is hereby called to order.
Enthusiastic chatter
HUNTMASTER:
I'll drink some more to that. As always, once I release the fox, it will have a 30-minute head start before...
Clattering
Angry chatter
BENDER:
Stop the hunt.
HUNTMASTER:
Oh! You again.
BENDER:
I'm back, snooty. We're here to liberate that robot fox, and that's what we're gonna do. Grunting Uh, you mind showing me how to open the cage?
ELDERLY FOXHUNTER:
Now, listen here, the hunt is a hallowed tradition, and you Bambi-loving beatniks will never stop it.
LEELA:
Oh, no? Well, for your information, the robot fox has been declared an endangered robo-species. This injunction suspends all robot foxhunting for 24 hours while our motion is under consideration.
BENDER:
We'll see you in court.
Banging
ELDERLY FOXHUNTER - JUDGE:
Motion destroyed. The hunt shall resume at sunup.
Neighing
ZOIDBERG:
He's crooked, but fair.
BENDER:
I'm not giving up yet.
FRY:
I am.
LEELA:
I already did.
BENDER:
You can count on me. Now here's the plan. We're going to sneak onto the grounds and free that fox.
FRY:
Can we stop for ice cream on the way back?
BENDER:
All right, fine.
LEELA:
And on the way there?
LEELA:
Whispering: Okay, I'll hold the ice cream while you two go over.
Grunting
FRY:
Where's the ice cream?
Whispers:
LEELA:
There was a bear.
Grunting
Beep
BENDER:
Okay. You guys take him back to planet express. I've got one more shenanigan up my sleeve.
FRY:
But you promised us way-back ice cream.
BENDER:
Oh, here. But no chocolate, it's bedtime.
HUNTMASTER:
With that odious robot barred from the grounds, the weekly hunt is hereby called once more to order. Let the hunt begin.
Other gasping
Shocked murmuring
BENDER:
You, sir, have been outfoxed. I spent all night on that.
HUNTMASTER:
It's clever. Nevertheless, I demand you return my fox.
BENDER:
Sorry, mutton-chump. No fox, no hunt.
HUNTMASTER:
Oh, really?
Beep Gun cocks
Let the hunt begin!
Other agreeing
BENDER:
Sir, I leave you with this one final thought.
Panicked screaming
Screaming continues
BENDER:
Oh, God, they're gonna kill me El roboto mas importante. And I only have a 30 minute head start. Uh-oh, a fork in the path. Hmm. There's more places to hide in that dark forest. On the other hand, I could run faster through that open meadow. But of course, the forest might protect my fair robot skin from sunburn. Hmm
Buzzer sounds
Bugle plays, dogs barking
HUNTMASTER:
Today, we hunt the most dangerous game aside from lawn darts a cunning robotic adversary so deviously clever that Oh, for God's sake.
BENDER:
Then again, a nice run through a meadow, who could say no to that? What?!
Barking
Snarling, Bender whimpering
HUNTMASTER:
Look here. Hunting is a team effort, and you're not pulling your weight. Now I'm going to be sporting and give you one more chance to run.
BENDER:
Thanks. Nothing's more important than sportsmanship.
HUNTMASTER:
Ow!
Laughs deviously
Slurping
ZOIDBERG:
It's so cute. Horseshoe crab cute.
Fry laughs, others murmuring
PROFESSOR:
Fox news, everyone. I've decided to make the fox our new corporate mascot.
AMY:
Hear, hear. Let's put on our new uniforms and take a staff photo for the newsletter.
PROFESSOR:
Right on!
HERMES:
Here they are, freshly laundered and
Hermes gasps, fox snarling
Other gasping
Panting
ZOIDBERG:
Our magnificent uniforms they're ruined. Sobbing
FRY:
And he peed on the locker room floor. That's my territory.
SCRUFFY:
Also got in the henhouse and killed Amy's prize-winning Rhode Island red.
AMY:
Not Penelope. Cute or not, I'll kill that robo-rat.
Amy yells, fox whimpers
Fry screams
FRY:
Let me at it. I'm gonna pound it with this chewed-up old stick.
LEELA:
No! It's just a poor, scared wild robot. What did you expect?
Gasps
My sign. It's ruined. Kill the fox.
Leela grunting
Angry shouting
Panting
Whimpers
Explosion
PROFESSOR:
Missed it by that much.
Dogs barking
Panting
BENDER:
Oh, no, they caught my scent. I better throw them off by rubbing myself with something.
Scratching
Ow! That's no good. Wait, I know what'll confuse those dogs. Catnip.
Cats snarling, Bender yelling
Bender yelling
HOT-DOG STAND GUY:
You have made yourself an enemy, my friend!
FRY:
Dang it. He jumped on the path train to New Jersey.
LEELA:
Of course. He's commuting back to his native habitat.
Panting wearily
Sighs heavily
BENDER:
On top of everything, I'm starving. I'll have to carve a sandwich out of this tree branch. Ow! My finger. I wish I remembered more survival skills from boy scouts. Too bad my only merit badge was in interpretive dance. Gasps Wait. I can use the universal language of dance to signal for help. Humming Ow! That was my second favorite ankle.
Grunting, dogs barking in distance
Bugle plays
Was that a horn? Are those the dogs?
Rustling
Is that two caterpillars making sweet love? Fox barks, Bender screams Fox panting Aw, you know what it's like to feel hunted, too, eh, buddy? Would it be too much to ask you to stay with me in my final moments and die at my side? And you die first? Snarling You lousy son of a! Metallic clanking Oh, I get it. You freed me. Electrical crackling You lousy son of a! Fox panting, Bender grunting Galloping hoof beats Horses neighing, dogs barking
HUNTMASTER:
We're hot on his heels. Aha! One of his heels.
Ship approaching, horses neighing
ELDERLY FOXHUNTER:
oh, these guys. Can I help you?
LEELA:
Out of our way, this fox is ours. Fox?
HUNTMASTER:
Ah, yes. Have at it. We're not hunting fox today.
LEELA:
Wait a second, what are you hunting?
Dogs whimpering
FRY:
Oh, my God. It's Bender's middle finger. I'd recognize this anywhere.
Gasps sharply
Snarling, barking
BENDER:
What is it, little buddy? Is it a layer cake? Or maybe world series tickets? A trip wire, hmm? But who's tripping who?
Grunting
Laughing maniacally
Wait whom. Who's tripping whom?
Laughing maniacally
LEELA:
I guess what I've been trying to say is, we should all be ashamed. Me for my hatred of a mechanical fox that tore up my sign and who I'd like to throttle and you, for hunting an innocent robot. Well, a robot who didn't harm you personally. Today. Probably. But most of all, I blame you, huntmaster. Where's the huntmaster?
CHUBBY FOXHUNTER:
Remember when you said "nobody leave" and then you turned your head briefly? He left an hour before that.
Chuckles deviously
Grunting
Yells Grunts
BENDER:
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa-whoa-whoa! Chuckles
HUNTMASTER:
You disappoint me, Bender. I'd've thought you'd have learned to avoid my antigravity snares by now.
BENDER:
I did. Too bad you didn't. Boo-oop.
HUNTMASTER:
Ye gods! Screaming, grunts
BENDER:
How does it feel to be the hunted? To be forever looking over your shoulder, like an owl with that type of neck? To die in agony at the hands of the world's greatest lover?
Cocks gun
HUNTMASTER:
No! Please!
BENDER:
I can't shoot you.
FRY:
Bender, I found your trigger finger.
BENDER:
Ah, now I can. Cocks gun But I won't. Not with so many witnesses.
HUNTMASTER:
You're a true gentleman. Unlike me.
Gasping Snarling
Fox snarling, huntmaster yelling
Gasps
BENDER:
I can't watch, Enough. Snarling
LEELA:
Oh, no! Screams
BENDER:
Hey, wait a minute. Electrical crackling
FRY:
He was also a robot? Dude!
BENDER:
So a robot fox killed a robot human? Eh, I guess that makes it okay.
LEELA:
No. Killing of any kind is I don't know, well Let me think about this. slurping
BENDER:
Ah.
LEELA:
I guess it's okay.
Crew on deck.
HERMES:
How was the delivery to Tokyo?
FRY:
Not bad, Mothzilla got into the ship's closet, though.
AMY: Can we please get new uniforms now, Professor? You said you would replace them a year ago.
PROFESSOR:
You can't expect me to honor what year-ago Professor said. That guy was young and foolish. There's nothing wrong with these uniforms that a few denim patches won't fix.
Professor and Hermes screaming after being attacked by Mothzilla
PROFESSOR:
Oh, all right.
HERMES:
To the garment district!
Planet Express ship lands. Door opens, bell jingles.
DECAPODIAN TAILOR:
Come in, come in. Can I offer you maybe a nice macaroon cut in seven pieces?
ZOIDBERG:
Oy, such a stereotype.
PROFESSOR:
Yes, I'm looking for something in a space uniform that's respectfully humiliating but can come out of an employee's salary without his noticing.
DECAPODIAN TAILOR:
You got it. Tomorrow's clothes at yesterday's prices. Ah, you can't go wrong with a stillsuit. It recycles your solid waste into a nice piece gefilte fish.
FRY:
Ugh, is there a way to just keep it as solid waste?
PROFESSOR:
Now here's something we can all agree on.
Leela shudders
DECAPODIAN TAILOR:
Ah, the Stardoz 2293. Not for everybody, but you pull it off.
AMY:
Please don't pull it off.
BENDER:
Yo, squidward scissorhands, you got this in an adult robot medium?
DECAPODIAN TAILOR:
The foxhunting uniform? You, sir, must be a robot of noble bearings.
BENDER:
Well, I am descended from prince Albert's can.
LEELA:
I think we've seen enough. Too much, actually. Come on, let's try somewhere else.
DECAPODIAN TAILOR:
Wait, wait, perhaps discerning customers like yourselves would be interested in an item from our discount rack.
PROFESSOR:
Quality is the most important thing. How much is it?
DECAPODIAN TAILOR:
90% off. An unpleasant fellow ordered them last year but never paid. Most unpleasant, that one.
PROFESSOR:
That sounds like something year-ago Professor would do. We'll take them.
AMY:
Finally, a uniform I'd be happy to be caught dead in.
ZOIDBERG:
And, boy, does it wick away moisture gallons and gallons of it.
LEELA:
Plus, they're stitched in such a way that, no matter what angle it's viewed from, it looks like you're standing in hero wind.
FRY:
I just wish my fists weren't sewn to my belt. grunts
BENDER:
Hey, what's Bender wearing instead of that crap?
LEELA:
Oh, lord. Did you actually buy that getup?
BENDER:
We fox-hunters do not stoop to buy get-ups. I made free with it.
HERMES:
Since when do you care or even know about foxhunting?
BENDER:
Foxhunting is an ancient and noble pursuit that's fascinated me ever since I first heard of it ten minutes ago.
LEELA:
Noble pursuit? What's noble about killing a defenseless animal?
BENDER:
Don't be naive, Leela. We kill defenseless animals all the time. Look at Hermes's tortoise-shell glasses. The Professor's walrus-ivory teeth, and don't forget the zebra-fur ship cozy.
Overlapping chatter: Yeah, I guess you're right. He's got a point.
BENDER:
See, Leela, there are two sides to every shameful act. What you call the atrocity of crazed dogs tearing a helpless fox to shreds, others call a pleasant jaunt in the park.
LEELA:
The first thing.
BENDER:
Come see for yourself. Join me on the morrow as I embark on my maiden hunt. I said join me! whip sound
LEELA:
This is my best protest sign ever, and it was easy because I started with a "save the ox" sign I already had.
Horse neighs
FRY:
Wow, where'd you get the horse?
BENDER:
None of your business.
noble music
OLD LADY:
Ah, young man, one does not drink from a champagne fountain in that manner.
FRY:
But he's doing it.
Bender chuckles
BENDER:
Check out this dork.
HUNTMASTER:
I, sir, am the master of the hunt and I'll thank you to behave like a gentleman.
BENDER:
You're quite welcome, sir.
Belches fire.
Ah, yes, foxhunting. If there's one thing I know, it's everything about it. What's that weird cat?
HUNTMASTER:
Groans This is the fox we'll be hunting today.
BENDER:
Wow, this is easier than I thought.
HUNTMASTER:
The sport is in the chase, sir. The fox gets a 30-minute head start.
BENDER:
Man, it would have been so much easier to kill it in the cage.
Timer buzzes.
HUNTMASTER:
Let the hunt begin.
Dogs barking.
Whooping raucously.
LEELA:
Stop, this is cruel and inhumane.
HUNTMASTER:
Well, now, in all my years as a huntmaster, I've never seen anything like this. I mean, look at that sign. It's magnificent.
LEELA:
Chuckling: Oh, thank you. I used a ruler and I erased all the pencil lines when I was finished.
HUNTMASTER:
Charming. Now, into the ditch with you.
Leela screams.
Barking.
FRY:
So the dogs do all the work while we sportsmen enjoy a nice horsey ride?
ELDERLY FOXHUNTER:
Precisely. I see you've caught the fever.
HUNTMASTER:
Keep your wits about you. I've blanketed these woods with devious traps to ward off poachers and protesters.
LEELA:
Stop the bloodshed, stop the violence. Screams
BENDER:
Laughs I saw that coming from a mile away! Horse neighing
HUNTMASTER:
Chuckles Be more careful, friend. My anti-gravity snares are virtually undetectable.
BENDER:
I saw it coming from a mile a Bender grunts, horse neighs
FEMALE FOXHUNTER:
View halloo, view halloo.
BENDER:
View halloo? All right. What does that mean?
FEMALE FOXHUNTER:
The fox has been sighted.
Barking
BENDER:
Oh, yeah, get that fox. Go, dogs, go.
Barking
Bender's horse neighs as it flips in mid air
BENDER:
Eh, either way.
Fox whimpering, dogs barking
LEELA:
Oh, God, this is horrible. I can't watch.
BENDER:
Scoffs You humans always say you don't want to see violence, but you know you do. I defy you not to watch.
LEELA:
A robot fox? Huh, I guess I'm okay with this after all.
BENDER:
Well, I'm not. Robot foxhunting is a crime against robo-nature. Stop the bloodshed, stop the viol Screams
Growling
BENDER:
How can you do this to a poor, defenseless robot animal? You people are sick, and you foxhounds are no better.
HUNTMASTER:
They're not foxhounds. They're springer spaniels, you twit. Or rather spring-powered spaniels.
BENDER:
Gasps Bot-on-bot violence? Where will it end?
HUNTMASTER:
Not with the dogs. Come here, sea gasket.
Robot horse neighs
Hyah!
Neighs, turns into a helicopter, explodes crashing into a tree.
BENDER:
No! You, sir, are a heartless monster, and you will rue the day you met me. Also, can I get my parking validated?
Robo-horse stamps the ticket.
BENDER:
The time has come to end injustice against robot animals.
Crowd cheering.
BENDER:
No dog track rabbit should be used to test cosmetics, no robot cow should have to be milked by a milking machine, and no milking machine should have to milk a robot cow.
LEELA:
Those injustices don't even exist.
BENDER:
Then, let's find some that do.
Transition to robo-chicken farm.
BENDER:
Robot chickens weren't made to be jammed in cubicles and forced to lay eggs.
ROBO-FARMER:
Actually, they was.
Clucking
BENDER:
I'll save you. Run free, sweet robo-hen.
Clucks
BENDER:
Enough with the tenderizing. It's time for a Benderizing.
ROBO-BUTCHER:
Hey, you people can't just burst in like that and cut off my hand. You got to take a number.
BENDER:
Shooting innocent robot ducks is wrong. Fly away. Fly away, my pretties.
Squawks
Cheering
FRY:
Congratulations, Bender, you've ended robot animal cruelty within a 20-yard radius of this building. You ready to call it a day, or do you have one more score to settle?
BENDER:
The second thing.
Whimpers
HUNTMASTER:
The weekly hunt is hereby called to order.
Enthusiastic chatter
HUNTMASTER:
I'll drink some more to that. As always, once I release the fox, it will have a 30-minute head start before...
Clattering
Angry chatter
BENDER:
Stop the hunt.
HUNTMASTER:
Oh! You again.
BENDER:
I'm back, snooty. We're here to liberate that robot fox, and that's what we're gonna do. Grunting Uh, you mind showing me how to open the cage?
ELDERLY FOXHUNTER:
Now, listen here, the hunt is a hallowed tradition, and you Bambi-loving beatniks will never stop it.
LEELA:
Oh, no? Well, for your information, the robot fox has been declared an endangered robo-species. This injunction suspends all robot foxhunting for 24 hours while our motion is under consideration.
BENDER:
We'll see you in court.
Banging
ELDERLY FOXHUNTER - JUDGE:
Motion destroyed. The hunt shall resume at sunup.
Neighing
ZOIDBERG:
He's crooked, but fair.
BENDER:
I'm not giving up yet.
FRY:
I am.
LEELA:
I already did.
BENDER:
You can count on me. Now here's the plan. We're going to sneak onto the grounds and free that fox.
FRY:
Can we stop for ice cream on the way back?
BENDER:
All right, fine.
LEELA:
And on the way there?
LEELA:
Whispering: Okay, I'll hold the ice cream while you two go over.
Grunting
FRY:
Where's the ice cream?
Whispers:
LEELA:
There was a bear.
Grunting
Beep
BENDER:
Okay. You guys take him back to planet express. I've got one more shenanigan up my sleeve.
FRY:
But you promised us way-back ice cream.
BENDER:
Oh, here. But no chocolate, it's bedtime.
HUNTMASTER:
With that odious robot barred from the grounds, the weekly hunt is hereby called once more to order. Let the hunt begin.
Other gasping
Shocked murmuring
BENDER:
You, sir, have been outfoxed. I spent all night on that.
HUNTMASTER:
It's clever. Nevertheless, I demand you return my fox.
BENDER:
Sorry, mutton-chump. No fox, no hunt.
HUNTMASTER:
Oh, really?
Beep Gun cocks
Let the hunt begin!
Other agreeing
BENDER:
Sir, I leave you with this one final thought.
Panicked screaming
Screaming continues
BENDER:
Oh, God, they're gonna kill me El roboto mas importante. And I only have a 30 minute head start. Uh-oh, a fork in the path. Hmm. There's more places to hide in that dark forest. On the other hand, I could run faster through that open meadow. But of course, the forest might protect my fair robot skin from sunburn. Hmm
Buzzer sounds
Bugle plays, dogs barking
HUNTMASTER:
Today, we hunt the most dangerous game aside from lawn darts a cunning robotic adversary so deviously clever that Oh, for God's sake.
BENDER:
Then again, a nice run through a meadow, who could say no to that? What?!
Barking
Snarling, Bender whimpering
HUNTMASTER:
Look here. Hunting is a team effort, and you're not pulling your weight. Now I'm going to be sporting and give you one more chance to run.
BENDER:
Thanks. Nothing's more important than sportsmanship.
HUNTMASTER:
Ow!
Laughs deviously
Slurping
ZOIDBERG:
It's so cute. Horseshoe crab cute.
Fry laughs, others murmuring
PROFESSOR:
Fox news, everyone. I've decided to make the fox our new corporate mascot.
AMY:
Hear, hear. Let's put on our new uniforms and take a staff photo for the newsletter.
PROFESSOR:
Right on!
HERMES:
Here they are, freshly laundered and
Hermes gasps, fox snarling
Other gasping
Panting
ZOIDBERG:
Our magnificent uniforms they're ruined. Sobbing
FRY:
And he peed on the locker room floor. That's my territory.
SCRUFFY:
Also got in the henhouse and killed Amy's prize-winning Rhode Island red.
AMY:
Not Penelope. Cute or not, I'll kill that robo-rat.
Amy yells, fox whimpers
Fry screams
FRY:
Let me at it. I'm gonna pound it with this chewed-up old stick.
LEELA:
No! It's just a poor, scared wild robot. What did you expect?
Gasps
My sign. It's ruined. Kill the fox.
Leela grunting
Angry shouting
Panting
Whimpers
Explosion
PROFESSOR:
Missed it by that much.
Dogs barking
Panting
BENDER:
Oh, no, they caught my scent. I better throw them off by rubbing myself with something.
Scratching
Ow! That's no good. Wait, I know what'll confuse those dogs. Catnip.
Cats snarling, Bender yelling
Bender yelling
HOT-DOG STAND GUY:
You have made yourself an enemy, my friend!
FRY:
Dang it. He jumped on the path train to New Jersey.
LEELA:
Of course. He's commuting back to his native habitat.
Panting wearily
Sighs heavily
BENDER:
On top of everything, I'm starving. I'll have to carve a sandwich out of this tree branch. Ow! My finger. I wish I remembered more survival skills from boy scouts. Too bad my only merit badge was in interpretive dance. Gasps Wait. I can use the universal language of dance to signal for help. Humming Ow! That was my second favorite ankle.
Grunting, dogs barking in distance
Bugle plays
Was that a horn? Are those the dogs?
Rustling
Is that two caterpillars making sweet love? Fox barks, Bender screams Fox panting Aw, you know what it's like to feel hunted, too, eh, buddy? Would it be too much to ask you to stay with me in my final moments and die at my side? And you die first? Snarling You lousy son of a! Metallic clanking Oh, I get it. You freed me. Electrical crackling You lousy son of a! Fox panting, Bender grunting Galloping hoof beats Horses neighing, dogs barking
HUNTMASTER:
We're hot on his heels. Aha! One of his heels.
Ship approaching, horses neighing
ELDERLY FOXHUNTER:
oh, these guys. Can I help you?
LEELA:
Out of our way, this fox is ours. Fox?
HUNTMASTER:
Ah, yes. Have at it. We're not hunting fox today.
LEELA:
Wait a second, what are you hunting?
Dogs whimpering
FRY:
Oh, my God. It's Bender's middle finger. I'd recognize this anywhere.
Gasps sharply
Snarling, barking
BENDER:
What is it, little buddy? Is it a layer cake? Or maybe world series tickets? A trip wire, hmm? But who's tripping who?
Grunting
Laughing maniacally
Wait whom. Who's tripping whom?
Laughing maniacally
LEELA:
I guess what I've been trying to say is, we should all be ashamed. Me for my hatred of a mechanical fox that tore up my sign and who I'd like to throttle and you, for hunting an innocent robot. Well, a robot who didn't harm you personally. Today. Probably. But most of all, I blame you, huntmaster. Where's the huntmaster?
CHUBBY FOXHUNTER:
Remember when you said "nobody leave" and then you turned your head briefly? He left an hour before that.
Chuckles deviously
Grunting
Yells Grunts
BENDER:
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa-whoa-whoa! Chuckles
HUNTMASTER:
You disappoint me, Bender. I'd've thought you'd have learned to avoid my antigravity snares by now.
BENDER:
I did. Too bad you didn't. Boo-oop.
HUNTMASTER:
Ye gods! Screaming, grunts
BENDER:
How does it feel to be the hunted? To be forever looking over your shoulder, like an owl with that type of neck? To die in agony at the hands of the world's greatest lover?
Cocks gun
HUNTMASTER:
No! Please!
BENDER:
I can't shoot you.
FRY:
Bender, I found your trigger finger.
BENDER:
Ah, now I can. Cocks gun But I won't. Not with so many witnesses.
HUNTMASTER:
You're a true gentleman. Unlike me.
Gasping Snarling
Fox snarling, huntmaster yelling
Gasps
BENDER:
I can't watch, Enough. Snarling
LEELA:
Oh, no! Screams
BENDER:
Hey, wait a minute. Electrical crackling
FRY:
He was also a robot? Dude!
BENDER:
So a robot fox killed a robot human? Eh, I guess that makes it okay.
LEELA:
No. Killing of any kind is I don't know, well Let me think about this. slurping
BENDER:
Ah.
LEELA:
I guess it's okay.