My Crumpet by Famous (UK) Lyrics

Well that's the end
And you can’t help believing
That all he was wanting
Was someone to talk with
To talk through his problems

A "Hey, are you alone tonight?"
I thought I saw a light
In your pantry, my crumpet

You see I won't get a lay tonight
Instead I'm satisfied to think of spa treatment lives instead
Or the pursuit of cane sugar
Or the inevitable death
And the comfort of a sofa-bed
Of course I’m far from over it

So promise me another lonely year
And I'll bend over because sadly
Oh I am still here
And I'm watching my days disappear