Podcast Review Song 3 Irrational Throat Fears by Erik Stocklin Lyrics
ERIK:
My older sister whacked me in the throat with a hockey stick
When I was only five years old
Now I have irrational throat fears
Well, first off, PaigeAnna2
We appreciate your five-star review
But wait, sorry
Your older sister slashed you in the throat with a hockey stick
I mean, damn, you were only five years old
I'd say you actually have understandably rational throat fears
COLLEEN:
I would agree with that
ERIK:
But now I'm stuck
It's hard to move on
I was supposed to read and write about other reviews for this song
But I'm left wondering, just picking my guitar
Did you need stitches or did it leave a scar
We know our ****
We watch Forensic Files
Did the partial prints and DNA match the hockey stick profile
And whose hockey stick was this
Was it yours or was it hers
Has the evidence been pawned off to a Play It Again Sports
Did you have it coming
Were you being a little ****, no offense
COLLEEN:
A little ****
ERIK:
Did you tattletale like a little sister snitch
COLLEEN:
A snitch
ERIK:
Or did you do that annoying thing
Where you're copying, stop copying everything she says
Did you feel pain
COLLEEN:
Pain, pain, pain
ERIK:
Or did it feel good inside
That your older sister had somehow made you feel alive
She was their first child, back then their only child
Their princess, and then you came along
And stole the spotlight and her hand-me-downs and the attention
She now has to share a room with bunk beds
And the attention, the attention, the attention
But did she braid your hair
Drive you and your friends to the mall
Spend hours on the phone when you just needed to talk
Was she in your wedding
And did she make a drunken toast
About a childhood accident at the hockey goalpost
After all of these years
Can you forgive her for your irrational throat fears
My older sister whacked me in the throat with a hockey stick
When I was only five years old
Now I have irrational throat fears
Well, first off, PaigeAnna2
We appreciate your five-star review
But wait, sorry
Your older sister slashed you in the throat with a hockey stick
I mean, damn, you were only five years old
I'd say you actually have understandably rational throat fears
COLLEEN:
I would agree with that
ERIK:
But now I'm stuck
It's hard to move on
I was supposed to read and write about other reviews for this song
But I'm left wondering, just picking my guitar
Did you need stitches or did it leave a scar
We know our ****
We watch Forensic Files
Did the partial prints and DNA match the hockey stick profile
And whose hockey stick was this
Was it yours or was it hers
Has the evidence been pawned off to a Play It Again Sports
Did you have it coming
Were you being a little ****, no offense
COLLEEN:
A little ****
ERIK:
Did you tattletale like a little sister snitch
COLLEEN:
A snitch
ERIK:
Or did you do that annoying thing
Where you're copying, stop copying everything she says
Did you feel pain
COLLEEN:
Pain, pain, pain
ERIK:
Or did it feel good inside
That your older sister had somehow made you feel alive
She was their first child, back then their only child
Their princess, and then you came along
And stole the spotlight and her hand-me-downs and the attention
She now has to share a room with bunk beds
And the attention, the attention, the attention
But did she braid your hair
Drive you and your friends to the mall
Spend hours on the phone when you just needed to talk
Was she in your wedding
And did she make a drunken toast
About a childhood accident at the hockey goalpost
After all of these years
Can you forgive her for your irrational throat fears