Wes Craven vs James Wan by Epic rap battle parodies Lyrics
[Intro]
EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES
JAMES WAN
VS
WES CRAVEN
BEGIN
[James Wan]
Straight from the grave, this ghost’s come to face off?
Then I’ll flip this around as our ways cross
Cause if you really wanna play with James Wan
Then your jig is up, Craven, it’s game on!
You’ve been fucked from the start with your carnal gore
Must’ve picked it up from making all that hardcore porn
But now your awful bores collect rotten scores
Only good for watchers when they wanna munch on corn
But it’s no wonder Freddy came from your mind
To escape from the kinds of depraved shit inside
Both our films serve as great inspirations, alright
Mine for creative work, yours for taking a life
Now the first Nightmarе wasn’t bad, I’ll admit
But when part two was written, you bashed it and quit
Thеn you ran for the hills tryna catch up to this
But the third started and they dragged you back in their shit
I’m the mind behind the top earning horror franchise of all time
Another in the top five, no legacy can top mine
I stepped out the genre, dropped billion-dollar hits
While your non-horror flicks...do they exist?
Yeah, you’re stuck with the genre, but you’ve turned crap at it
I’ve seen scarier films from Wes Anderson
And with all those marriages you’ve had to let rot
You’ve gone through more rings than Sidney Prescott
[Wes Craven, *Ghostface*]
Quiet on set! You’re starting to bore
I thought that ‘The Nun’ was the loudest I’d snore
You’re gunning to be number one, but I wonder
Were reviewers booing the best you could conjure?
Jumpscares into the deep blue, you say no genre can stop you?
Now superhero fans are taking shots at Wan, too
Your movies are becoming as soulless as Annabelle
This dummy would be nothing but a hack without his pal, Whannell
Signed yourself to Blumhouse, but now your talent is wasted
Shoulda kept that verse locked in Ed and Lorraine’s basement
It’s true a dark movie can be the most frightening
But I’m talking plots, not your damn low lighting
Your prosthetic effects are as common as your good bars
Go ask James Charles if makeup is too hard
You use cheap tricks, my fear lingers for years in kids
My satire of all your tropes is taken more serious
Like your cinematic universe, the world will forget you
So take a bow...and kneel to the MCU
With effects pushing limits of what’s crafted by hand
Your method lacks all the charm, the final product is bland
Just push a couple keys and the code does the work?
*It’s like you CGI’d that verse!*
[James Wan]
Spent your childhood trapped by your parents’ Baptist practices, stripped you of all your freedom
No amount of churches I haunt could ever match those religious demons
Practical effects are impressive, true
But they limit the vision of what artists can do
But you had everyone rallying to ban your first production
And you’re really gonna rail on me for pushing buttons
You’re in my world now, no way you can handle it
Your sequels proved your standards dropped worse than your daddy did
You’ll be forgotten in time, this whole genre is mine
And still no stopping my grind, bitch I’m Wan of a kind
[Wes Craven]
Well, someone’s pissy, though I shouldn't be surprised
When this guy gets inspired by the bottom of a pint
Had your agents on your ass, your thoughts turned violent
But when it came to film ideas, your brain was Dead Silent
While you and Tiny Tim were tiptoeing through the tulips
I took my Swamp Thing and it actually concluded
You’re no king, your movies use every trite cliche
Like you got possessed by the soul of Michael Bay
Jigsaw is steps away from the fame of Freddy
Too bad he became an icon when you left already
You’d think your scares took everybody by surprise
But not even the hills had to cover their eyes
The Elm Street kids would thank you, Wan, your yawn fests put the whole world’s teens to bed
Took the spotlight off of real terror, now it’s safe to sleep again
[Outro]
WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES!
PARODIES! PARODIES! PARODIES!
EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES
JAMES WAN
VS
WES CRAVEN
BEGIN
[James Wan]
Straight from the grave, this ghost’s come to face off?
Then I’ll flip this around as our ways cross
Cause if you really wanna play with James Wan
Then your jig is up, Craven, it’s game on!
You’ve been fucked from the start with your carnal gore
Must’ve picked it up from making all that hardcore porn
But now your awful bores collect rotten scores
Only good for watchers when they wanna munch on corn
But it’s no wonder Freddy came from your mind
To escape from the kinds of depraved shit inside
Both our films serve as great inspirations, alright
Mine for creative work, yours for taking a life
Now the first Nightmarе wasn’t bad, I’ll admit
But when part two was written, you bashed it and quit
Thеn you ran for the hills tryna catch up to this
But the third started and they dragged you back in their shit
I’m the mind behind the top earning horror franchise of all time
Another in the top five, no legacy can top mine
I stepped out the genre, dropped billion-dollar hits
While your non-horror flicks...do they exist?
Yeah, you’re stuck with the genre, but you’ve turned crap at it
I’ve seen scarier films from Wes Anderson
And with all those marriages you’ve had to let rot
You’ve gone through more rings than Sidney Prescott
[Wes Craven, *Ghostface*]
Quiet on set! You’re starting to bore
I thought that ‘The Nun’ was the loudest I’d snore
You’re gunning to be number one, but I wonder
Were reviewers booing the best you could conjure?
Jumpscares into the deep blue, you say no genre can stop you?
Now superhero fans are taking shots at Wan, too
Your movies are becoming as soulless as Annabelle
This dummy would be nothing but a hack without his pal, Whannell
Signed yourself to Blumhouse, but now your talent is wasted
Shoulda kept that verse locked in Ed and Lorraine’s basement
It’s true a dark movie can be the most frightening
But I’m talking plots, not your damn low lighting
Your prosthetic effects are as common as your good bars
Go ask James Charles if makeup is too hard
You use cheap tricks, my fear lingers for years in kids
My satire of all your tropes is taken more serious
Like your cinematic universe, the world will forget you
So take a bow...and kneel to the MCU
With effects pushing limits of what’s crafted by hand
Your method lacks all the charm, the final product is bland
Just push a couple keys and the code does the work?
*It’s like you CGI’d that verse!*
[James Wan]
Spent your childhood trapped by your parents’ Baptist practices, stripped you of all your freedom
No amount of churches I haunt could ever match those religious demons
Practical effects are impressive, true
But they limit the vision of what artists can do
But you had everyone rallying to ban your first production
And you’re really gonna rail on me for pushing buttons
You’re in my world now, no way you can handle it
Your sequels proved your standards dropped worse than your daddy did
You’ll be forgotten in time, this whole genre is mine
And still no stopping my grind, bitch I’m Wan of a kind
[Wes Craven]
Well, someone’s pissy, though I shouldn't be surprised
When this guy gets inspired by the bottom of a pint
Had your agents on your ass, your thoughts turned violent
But when it came to film ideas, your brain was Dead Silent
While you and Tiny Tim were tiptoeing through the tulips
I took my Swamp Thing and it actually concluded
You’re no king, your movies use every trite cliche
Like you got possessed by the soul of Michael Bay
Jigsaw is steps away from the fame of Freddy
Too bad he became an icon when you left already
You’d think your scares took everybody by surprise
But not even the hills had to cover their eyes
The Elm Street kids would thank you, Wan, your yawn fests put the whole world’s teens to bed
Took the spotlight off of real terror, now it’s safe to sleep again
[Outro]
WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES!
PARODIES! PARODIES! PARODIES!