Saint Nicholas vs. Saint Valentine by Epic rap battle parodies Lyrics
[Intro]
EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES!
SAINT NICHOLAS
VERSUS
SAINT VALENTINE
BEGIN!
[Saint Valentine]
Who am I? Saint Valentine! I think I've arrived in the Nick of time
Bishop playing you like a pawn! This martyr's got ardor! More than thy!
Wonderwork your way out of here! Don't patronize me! You don't have a clue!
Someone's got a foot fetish, putting gifts in little children's shoes!
I'll Kringle you, Kris, leave you dissed with one touch
You call yourself Sinterklaas? DESITE! You're not even Dutch!
I'll seizure victory from you, Holy Heirarch! Enough is enough!
Cause I'm the more impressive saint representing winter months!
[Saint Nicholas]
The eternal third wheel's about to meet his law-maker
Behave, or you can consider this bishop a pawn breaker!
A canonized betrayer to the Emperor is my challenger
I'll rock you the Flaminian way and wipe you off the calendar!
As winter falls the children call the one and only Sinterklaas!
You think I'm wrong? I'll clip your wings right off and twist your jingle balls!
Me and my posse of peeps beat you once every week!
But once a year we'll honor your execution as bittersweet
[Cupid]
Hah! Meet you in the court of love, you'll find I'm Master Chancellor!
Tell your North-Side gang that it's time for a massacre!
I'm the hardy heart of archery, so don't make me shoot!!!
There's only room for me or you and you don't quite fit the suit!
Oh yeah, I'm so fly, I'm the god of desire...
Keep making children live lies and I'll roast your nuts on the fire!
My kind of love conquers all but your existence is the paradigm
That redefines mankind as one who'll never have a Valentine!
[Santa Claus]
Ho ho ho! Santa Claus is here to flow!
Shove your chocolates down your throat and leave you pummeled in the snow!
I didn't think your rapping could get anymore scary
Until you went and turned yourself into the gay Tooth Fairy!
Making money off of greeting cards? Now that just makes me pissed!
Since it brings a whole new meaning to the Naughty list!
Merry Christmas to all, now that this prick has been dissed!
There's no way one baby could stop the Spirit of Christmas!
[Outro]
WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES!
EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES!
SAINT NICHOLAS
VERSUS
SAINT VALENTINE
BEGIN!
[Saint Valentine]
Who am I? Saint Valentine! I think I've arrived in the Nick of time
Bishop playing you like a pawn! This martyr's got ardor! More than thy!
Wonderwork your way out of here! Don't patronize me! You don't have a clue!
Someone's got a foot fetish, putting gifts in little children's shoes!
I'll Kringle you, Kris, leave you dissed with one touch
You call yourself Sinterklaas? DESITE! You're not even Dutch!
I'll seizure victory from you, Holy Heirarch! Enough is enough!
Cause I'm the more impressive saint representing winter months!
[Saint Nicholas]
The eternal third wheel's about to meet his law-maker
Behave, or you can consider this bishop a pawn breaker!
A canonized betrayer to the Emperor is my challenger
I'll rock you the Flaminian way and wipe you off the calendar!
As winter falls the children call the one and only Sinterklaas!
You think I'm wrong? I'll clip your wings right off and twist your jingle balls!
Me and my posse of peeps beat you once every week!
But once a year we'll honor your execution as bittersweet
[Cupid]
Hah! Meet you in the court of love, you'll find I'm Master Chancellor!
Tell your North-Side gang that it's time for a massacre!
I'm the hardy heart of archery, so don't make me shoot!!!
There's only room for me or you and you don't quite fit the suit!
Oh yeah, I'm so fly, I'm the god of desire...
Keep making children live lies and I'll roast your nuts on the fire!
My kind of love conquers all but your existence is the paradigm
That redefines mankind as one who'll never have a Valentine!
[Santa Claus]
Ho ho ho! Santa Claus is here to flow!
Shove your chocolates down your throat and leave you pummeled in the snow!
I didn't think your rapping could get anymore scary
Until you went and turned yourself into the gay Tooth Fairy!
Making money off of greeting cards? Now that just makes me pissed!
Since it brings a whole new meaning to the Naughty list!
Merry Christmas to all, now that this prick has been dissed!
There's no way one baby could stop the Spirit of Christmas!
[Outro]
WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES!