The Perils of Inbreeding by Emo Philips Lyrics

I’d love to have children. My nephew had a birthday when I was babysitting, did some magic tricks for the kids, took his dog, and twisted him into a balloon. And I said okay, blow out the candles, on the coleslaw, he said I wanna make a wish, I wanna make a wish, so I grab him by the ankles and start spinning him and he goes WISH WISH. I knew what he really meant, but I thought what a good time to warn him of the dangers of homonyms. And I took him to the playground. He says, uncle emo, give me a push on the swing, he says harder, he says give me a real push So I get about fifty feet back and I run and push him, he says give me a real push you pansy. So back up the Buick. He got out of it.