Asshole by Eminem Lyrics
[Verse 1: Eminem]
Came to the world at a time when it was in need of a villain
An asshole, that role I think I succeeded fulfillin'
But don't think I ever stopped
To think that I was speakin' to children
Everything was happenin' so fast
It was like I blinked—sold three million
Then it all went blank, all I remember is feelin' ridiculous
‘Cause I was gettin' sick of this feelin'
Like I'm always under attack, man
I could have stacked my shit list to the ceilin'
Women dishin' but really thinkin': "If anyone ever talks to one of my little girls like this I would kill him."
Guess I'm a little bit of a hypocrite when I'm rippin' shit
But since when did this many people ever give a shit
What I had to say? It's just my opinion
If it contradicts how I'm livin', put a dick in your rear end
That's why every time you mentioned a lyric
I thanked you for it, for drawin' more attention toward it
‘Cause it gave me an enormous platform
I'm flattered you thought I was that important
But you can't ignore the fact that I fought for the respect
And battled for it, mad awards, had GLAAD annoyed
Atta-boy, they told me to slow down, I'd just zone out
Good luck tryin' to convince a blonde
It's like tellin' Gwen Stefani she sold out
‘Cause I was tryna leave no doubt
In anyone's mind, one day I'd go down in history
Think they know now because everybody knows
[Chorus: Skylar Grey]
Everybody knows
That you're just an asshole
Everywhere that you go
People wanna go home, everyone knows
Everybody knows
So don't pretend to be nice
There's no place you can hide
You are just an asshole
Everyone knows, everyone knows
[Interlude: Eminem]
Thanks for the support, asshole! *scratch*
Thanks for the support, asshole!
[Verse 2: Eminem]
Quit actin' salty! I was countin' on you to count me out
Ask Asher Roth when he roundabout
Dissed me to shout me out
Thought I was history, well goddamn, honky
That compliment's like backhandin' a donkey
Good way to get your ass socked in the mouth
Nah, I'm off him
But what the fuck's all this trash-talkin' about?
The fight was fixed, I'm back and you can't stop me
You knocked me down, I went down for the count
I fell, but the fans caught me, and now
You're gonna have to beat the fuckin' pants off me
To take my belt—word to Pacquiao
Momma said, "There ain't nothin' else to talk about
Better go in that ring and knock 'em out
Or you better not come out!"
It's poetry in motion
Like Freddie Roach when he's quotin' Shakespeare
So what if insults are revoltin'?
Even Helen Keller knows life stinks
You think it's a joke 'til you're bullet-riddled
But you should give little shit what I think
This whole world is a mess
Gotta have a goddamn vest on your chest
And a Glock just to go watch Batman
Who needs to test a testicles? Not that man
Half of you don't got the guts, intestinal blockage
Rest of you got lap bands
Stuck to this motto 'fore they put bath salts
And all those water bottles in Colorado, so get lost, Waldo
My soul's escapin' through this asshole that is gapin'
A black hole and I'm swallowin' this track whole
Better pack toilet paper, but I'm takin' no crap, ho
Here I go down the Bat Pole
And I'm changin' back into that old maniac
In fact, there they go tryna dip out the back door retreatin'
‘Cause everybody knows
[Chorus: Skylar Grey]
Everybody knows
That you're just an asshole
Everywhere that you go
People wanna go home, everyone knows
Everybody knows
So don't pretend to be nice
There's no place you can hide
You are just an asshole
Everyone knows, everyone knows
[Verse 3: Eminem]
Holy mackerel! I'm the biggest jerk on the planet Earth
I smacked a girl off the mechanical bull at a tractor pull
For thinkin' we had some magnetic pull
Then screamed, "ICP in this bitch! How do fuckin' magnets work?"
‘Cause you're attractive, but we ain't attractable
Hate to be dramatical, but I'm not romantical
I'm makin' up words so you can understandable, it's tragical
Thinkin' some magical shit's gonna happen, that ain't practical
You crackin' a joke, it's laughable
‘Cause me and love's like a bad combination
I keep them feelings locked in a vault
So it's safe to say I'm uncrackable
My heart is truly guarded, full body armor
Bitch, you just need a helmet
‘Cause if you think you're special, you're retarded
Thinkin' you're one of a kind like you got some platinum vagina
You're a train wreck, I got a one-track mind
Shorty, you're fine, but you sort of remind me of a 49er
‘Cause you been a gold digger since you was a minor
Been tryna hunt me down like a dog
‘Cause you're on my ass but you can't get a cent
‘Cause all of my spare time is spent
On my nose in this binder, so don't bother tryin'
Only women that I love are my daughters
But sometimes I rhyme and it sounds like I forget I'm a father
And I push it farther
So, Father, forgive me if I forget to draw the line
It's apparent I shouldn't have been a parent
I'll never grow up, so to hell with your parents
And motherfuck father time
It ain't never gonna stop, a pessimist
Who transformed to an optimist in his prime
So even if I'm half-dead, I'm half-alive
Poured my half-empty glass in a cup
Now my cup has runneth over
And I'm 'bout to set it on you like a mothafuckin' coaster
I’m goin' back to what got me here
Yeah, cocky, and can’t knock bein' rude off, so fear not, my dear
And dry up your teardrops, I'm here
White America's mirror, so don't feel awkward or weird
If you stare at me and see yourself because you're one too
Shouldn't be a shock, because everybody knows
[Chorus: Skylar Grey]
Everybody knows
That you're just an asshole
Everywhere that you go
People wanna go home, everyone knows
Everybody knows
So don't pretend to be nice
There's no place you can hide
You are just an asshole
Everyone knows, everyone knows
Came to the world at a time when it was in need of a villain
An asshole, that role I think I succeeded fulfillin'
But don't think I ever stopped
To think that I was speakin' to children
Everything was happenin' so fast
It was like I blinked—sold three million
Then it all went blank, all I remember is feelin' ridiculous
‘Cause I was gettin' sick of this feelin'
Like I'm always under attack, man
I could have stacked my shit list to the ceilin'
Women dishin' but really thinkin': "If anyone ever talks to one of my little girls like this I would kill him."
Guess I'm a little bit of a hypocrite when I'm rippin' shit
But since when did this many people ever give a shit
What I had to say? It's just my opinion
If it contradicts how I'm livin', put a dick in your rear end
That's why every time you mentioned a lyric
I thanked you for it, for drawin' more attention toward it
‘Cause it gave me an enormous platform
I'm flattered you thought I was that important
But you can't ignore the fact that I fought for the respect
And battled for it, mad awards, had GLAAD annoyed
Atta-boy, they told me to slow down, I'd just zone out
Good luck tryin' to convince a blonde
It's like tellin' Gwen Stefani she sold out
‘Cause I was tryna leave no doubt
In anyone's mind, one day I'd go down in history
Think they know now because everybody knows
[Chorus: Skylar Grey]
Everybody knows
That you're just an asshole
Everywhere that you go
People wanna go home, everyone knows
Everybody knows
So don't pretend to be nice
There's no place you can hide
You are just an asshole
Everyone knows, everyone knows
[Interlude: Eminem]
Thanks for the support, asshole! *scratch*
Thanks for the support, asshole!
[Verse 2: Eminem]
Quit actin' salty! I was countin' on you to count me out
Ask Asher Roth when he roundabout
Dissed me to shout me out
Thought I was history, well goddamn, honky
That compliment's like backhandin' a donkey
Good way to get your ass socked in the mouth
Nah, I'm off him
But what the fuck's all this trash-talkin' about?
The fight was fixed, I'm back and you can't stop me
You knocked me down, I went down for the count
I fell, but the fans caught me, and now
You're gonna have to beat the fuckin' pants off me
To take my belt—word to Pacquiao
Momma said, "There ain't nothin' else to talk about
Better go in that ring and knock 'em out
Or you better not come out!"
It's poetry in motion
Like Freddie Roach when he's quotin' Shakespeare
So what if insults are revoltin'?
Even Helen Keller knows life stinks
You think it's a joke 'til you're bullet-riddled
But you should give little shit what I think
This whole world is a mess
Gotta have a goddamn vest on your chest
And a Glock just to go watch Batman
Who needs to test a testicles? Not that man
Half of you don't got the guts, intestinal blockage
Rest of you got lap bands
Stuck to this motto 'fore they put bath salts
And all those water bottles in Colorado, so get lost, Waldo
My soul's escapin' through this asshole that is gapin'
A black hole and I'm swallowin' this track whole
Better pack toilet paper, but I'm takin' no crap, ho
Here I go down the Bat Pole
And I'm changin' back into that old maniac
In fact, there they go tryna dip out the back door retreatin'
‘Cause everybody knows
[Chorus: Skylar Grey]
Everybody knows
That you're just an asshole
Everywhere that you go
People wanna go home, everyone knows
Everybody knows
So don't pretend to be nice
There's no place you can hide
You are just an asshole
Everyone knows, everyone knows
[Verse 3: Eminem]
Holy mackerel! I'm the biggest jerk on the planet Earth
I smacked a girl off the mechanical bull at a tractor pull
For thinkin' we had some magnetic pull
Then screamed, "ICP in this bitch! How do fuckin' magnets work?"
‘Cause you're attractive, but we ain't attractable
Hate to be dramatical, but I'm not romantical
I'm makin' up words so you can understandable, it's tragical
Thinkin' some magical shit's gonna happen, that ain't practical
You crackin' a joke, it's laughable
‘Cause me and love's like a bad combination
I keep them feelings locked in a vault
So it's safe to say I'm uncrackable
My heart is truly guarded, full body armor
Bitch, you just need a helmet
‘Cause if you think you're special, you're retarded
Thinkin' you're one of a kind like you got some platinum vagina
You're a train wreck, I got a one-track mind
Shorty, you're fine, but you sort of remind me of a 49er
‘Cause you been a gold digger since you was a minor
Been tryna hunt me down like a dog
‘Cause you're on my ass but you can't get a cent
‘Cause all of my spare time is spent
On my nose in this binder, so don't bother tryin'
Only women that I love are my daughters
But sometimes I rhyme and it sounds like I forget I'm a father
And I push it farther
So, Father, forgive me if I forget to draw the line
It's apparent I shouldn't have been a parent
I'll never grow up, so to hell with your parents
And motherfuck father time
It ain't never gonna stop, a pessimist
Who transformed to an optimist in his prime
So even if I'm half-dead, I'm half-alive
Poured my half-empty glass in a cup
Now my cup has runneth over
And I'm 'bout to set it on you like a mothafuckin' coaster
I’m goin' back to what got me here
Yeah, cocky, and can’t knock bein' rude off, so fear not, my dear
And dry up your teardrops, I'm here
White America's mirror, so don't feel awkward or weird
If you stare at me and see yourself because you're one too
Shouldn't be a shock, because everybody knows
[Chorus: Skylar Grey]
Everybody knows
That you're just an asshole
Everywhere that you go
People wanna go home, everyone knows
Everybody knows
So don't pretend to be nice
There's no place you can hide
You are just an asshole
Everyone knows, everyone knows