{Thoughts – part I} “Places” by ElijahP Lyrics
I have yet to discover what my path is.
I have yet to understand my own emotions, my thoughts, the reasoning behind my actions and reactions.
For self-satisfaction I just act happy;
Whenever they start asking I simply say “it’s all good.”
And it is half the time, currently my life is situated between ‘okay’ and just FINE.
That’s decency;
And I know sometimes I do things indecent, see, we ain’t perfect but im finding it funny how some people are always expecting me to be.
And I joined the military for the specific reason; they don’t look down, they won’t try to play you.
I felt like maybe for once I could probably fit in, find a sense of belonging somewhere other than where home is.
In search of a piece of me; inside of all these beautiful people I seem to see something close to whatever I’ve been trying to be. Its strenuous work, trying to find REAL yourself in a time where FAKE is all they ever want you to be.
I can’t settle.
I am aware of the world, at times a little too aware for my own good.
Admittedly, it scares me. What if I walk into the wrong hood, and can’t escape?
Will they send me to meet Jesus, or will they spare me?
It’s hard to take.
And these thoughts are getting hard to shake.
I gotta write it out.
Man, where’s my place in this world? Im steady searching.
And so far from finished, these thoughts are steady lurking…
-ep
I have yet to understand my own emotions, my thoughts, the reasoning behind my actions and reactions.
For self-satisfaction I just act happy;
Whenever they start asking I simply say “it’s all good.”
And it is half the time, currently my life is situated between ‘okay’ and just FINE.
That’s decency;
And I know sometimes I do things indecent, see, we ain’t perfect but im finding it funny how some people are always expecting me to be.
And I joined the military for the specific reason; they don’t look down, they won’t try to play you.
I felt like maybe for once I could probably fit in, find a sense of belonging somewhere other than where home is.
In search of a piece of me; inside of all these beautiful people I seem to see something close to whatever I’ve been trying to be. Its strenuous work, trying to find REAL yourself in a time where FAKE is all they ever want you to be.
I can’t settle.
I am aware of the world, at times a little too aware for my own good.
Admittedly, it scares me. What if I walk into the wrong hood, and can’t escape?
Will they send me to meet Jesus, or will they spare me?
It’s hard to take.
And these thoughts are getting hard to shake.
I gotta write it out.
Man, where’s my place in this world? Im steady searching.
And so far from finished, these thoughts are steady lurking…
-ep