Funky Ford Cortina by Dustin the Turkey Lyrics
[Verse 1]
Passin' Windsor Motors on the Long Mile Road
Saw this vision of a car resprayed in shiny gold
"This car is made for you, sir" and the price we did agree
Go faster stripes, tinted windows, this classic was for me
Now drivin' a babe magnet has had its ups and downs
With fourteen chicks in the back, you can really feel the ground
But I'm the one who's laughin' just like a hyena
'Cause I won't take naggin' in me passion wagon
That's me funky Ford Cortina
Aw yeah funky Ford Corina
Did I tell she laughs like a hyena?
[Verse 2]
Coolin' in me car with two tickets with two tickets for a film
Ace Ventura double bill for any girl who's willin'
Pull up at the square, soon me car's surrounded
Funky females all around, their faces all astounded
I thought me luck was in, "are youse on for a movie?"
"Shut up, turkey breath. We think your car is groovy"
But what about the film? They said that they'd all seen it
Youse can all jump in and we'll go for a spin
In the funky Ford Cortina
What this car needs is a good MOT
A good mot in it! Huah ha ha!
[Verse 3]
Watchin' me TV, a sale on in Power City
Couldn't hear a word she said, the reception was real iffy
Time to buy a new one, drive down to the 'Noggin
Coupons in me hand, to sees what they was floggin'
TV girl a cutie in her red pullover
Checked me looks in a chrome toaster as I called her over
"I'm looking for a TV," her badge had said "Caitriona"
"You can have it for free if you take me
In your funky Ford Cortina"
Aw yeah funky red Caitriona
For me funky Ford Cortina
Feeling a bit peckish darling
Up to the drive through
[Skit]
How are ya Johann?
Yeah, cheeseburger no cheese
Two large fries
Three chocolate milkshakes
And what's the funky special?
Doner kebab, give us two of those
Hold on...
Caitriona, what are you having yourself?
You've no money...
She's not eatin'!
Read that back to me there, Johann
No cheese on the cheeseburger!
Can you hear that?
Is that the air coming out of me tyres?
Caitriona, would ya stop it
You're like a red setter breathin' down me neck
[Verse 4]
Back in the saddle, this engine is a hummin'
Crusin' Turtle Bay for some nightclubbin'
"Cool wheels," the bouncer said. "You can look but do not touch"
Three hours on the dancefloor, I'd had about enough
"Anyone for a curry?" the whole club said, "we are"
So I pulled up to the bumper and squashed them in the car
What happened next was a nightmare and everyone was screamin'
'Cause me chassis curdled with the weight of the girls
In me funky Ford Cortina
Yeah, don't cry for me Ford Cortina
Funky Ford Cortina
Passin' Windsor Motors on the Long Mile Road
Saw this vision of a car resprayed in shiny gold
"This car is made for you, sir" and the price we did agree
Go faster stripes, tinted windows, this classic was for me
Now drivin' a babe magnet has had its ups and downs
With fourteen chicks in the back, you can really feel the ground
But I'm the one who's laughin' just like a hyena
'Cause I won't take naggin' in me passion wagon
That's me funky Ford Cortina
Aw yeah funky Ford Corina
Did I tell she laughs like a hyena?
[Verse 2]
Coolin' in me car with two tickets with two tickets for a film
Ace Ventura double bill for any girl who's willin'
Pull up at the square, soon me car's surrounded
Funky females all around, their faces all astounded
I thought me luck was in, "are youse on for a movie?"
"Shut up, turkey breath. We think your car is groovy"
But what about the film? They said that they'd all seen it
Youse can all jump in and we'll go for a spin
In the funky Ford Cortina
What this car needs is a good MOT
A good mot in it! Huah ha ha!
[Verse 3]
Watchin' me TV, a sale on in Power City
Couldn't hear a word she said, the reception was real iffy
Time to buy a new one, drive down to the 'Noggin
Coupons in me hand, to sees what they was floggin'
TV girl a cutie in her red pullover
Checked me looks in a chrome toaster as I called her over
"I'm looking for a TV," her badge had said "Caitriona"
"You can have it for free if you take me
In your funky Ford Cortina"
Aw yeah funky red Caitriona
For me funky Ford Cortina
Feeling a bit peckish darling
Up to the drive through
[Skit]
How are ya Johann?
Yeah, cheeseburger no cheese
Two large fries
Three chocolate milkshakes
And what's the funky special?
Doner kebab, give us two of those
Hold on...
Caitriona, what are you having yourself?
You've no money...
She's not eatin'!
Read that back to me there, Johann
No cheese on the cheeseburger!
Can you hear that?
Is that the air coming out of me tyres?
Caitriona, would ya stop it
You're like a red setter breathin' down me neck
[Verse 4]
Back in the saddle, this engine is a hummin'
Crusin' Turtle Bay for some nightclubbin'
"Cool wheels," the bouncer said. "You can look but do not touch"
Three hours on the dancefloor, I'd had about enough
"Anyone for a curry?" the whole club said, "we are"
So I pulled up to the bumper and squashed them in the car
What happened next was a nightmare and everyone was screamin'
'Cause me chassis curdled with the weight of the girls
In me funky Ford Cortina
Yeah, don't cry for me Ford Cortina
Funky Ford Cortina