Hard for a Tard by Dave Brockie Experience Lyrics

I believe in Bilbo Baggins!

[Verse 1]
Well I guess I probably fucked about a million girls
And if half of them were women, I'd shit a string of pearls
Still I guess that most of them were usually men
Society makes a man mouth-fuck his best friend

[Chorus]
Hard for a tard
I saw her in the yard
Walking after kitty, she stepped in a turd
Hard for a tard
Got her in my car
Slipped into her tard-hole, she didn't say a word

[Verse 2]
Fucking this retarded chick at the end of the block
She gets confused by the smell of air
But the sex is fantastic so I just don't care
Something about this retard gets me hard as a rock
She gets lost falling down the stairs
But she sure knows her way around my pubic hairs
[Chorus]
Hard for a tard
Her brain is deeply scarred
Throwing rocks at kitty, she's eating a turd
Hard for a tard
Get in the fucking car
Retarded chicks should be fucked and not heard

[Break]
Now her hot retard pussy always there for the taking
You know she won a Golden Globe, you know she could be faking
And still the quest for Oscar gold we are together making
As my lumpy penis-pie her vagi-stove was baking
Baking, baking, baking, baking

[Verse 3]
I'm in love with a girl that's fucking retarded
The only time she made a sound was when her pussy farted
But it gets better, I'm telling you how
I found her medicare checks and I'm cashing them now

[Chorus]
Hard for a tard
My perfect putt was parred
Kitty is becoming a turd
Hard for a tard
The turd is in a jar
Retards and old people need some cock too
Hard for a tard
Hard for a tard
Hard for a tard
Hard for a tard

Retarded chicks should be fucked and not heard

(Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?)