Celebrity Funk by Chris Thomas Lyrics

Celebrity Funk
Get on down y'all
The beast-ra, the right-ya
Join our lovely get down
Want to get on down with Celebrity Funk
Get on down y'all
I'm gonna tell your mama
I'm gonna tell your sister
'Bout Celebrity Funk
This is the funk, y'all
So get it on down

I'm Howard Cosell, I talk so bright
If you heard what I said, then yell "Alright" (Alright!)
Remarkable, sensational, gratifying, self-denying
We have a lot of superstar guests
But first of all, here's the boxer's best
He has the fastest hands, you'll sure agree
Everyone calls him Muhammad Ali

I'll move like a tiger, more steady than a tree
I'm the one that's viciously
Fought a lot of people, came a long way
Then Larry Holmes got in my way
He hit me once, he hit me twice
Said now "Look Larry, that's not nice"
Next he tried to knock me to the floor
But the ref stepped in and said no more
Now people I want you to have a good day
Here he comes, a-Sugar Ray
I fought Tommy Hearns, Roberto Durán
Now everyone knows I'm the main man
I thought about fighting, but I had to give it up
Now I'm on the toilet with 7-Up

I'm Leon Spinks, I can't sure think
Why don't you ask Michael Spinks?

Celebrity Funk
Get on down y'all
The beast-ra, the right-ya
Join our lovely get down
Want to get on down with Celebrity Funk
Huh!
Get on down y'all
I'm gonna tell your mama
I'm gonna tell your sister
'Bout Celebrity Funk
This is the funk, y'all
So get it on down

Celebrity Funk
Get on down y'all
The beast-ra, the right-ya
Join our lovely get down
Want to get on down with Celebrity Funk
Huh!
Get on down y'all
I'm gonna tell your mama
I'm gonna tell your sister
'Bout Celebrity Funk
This is the funk, y'all
So get it on down
I'm Jimmy, I talk so fine
Pretty soon it'll be election time
I don't wanna tell you who to vote for
But I'm not running anymore
But I'll try to tell you how your money's spent
Now you gotta ask the damn president

Don't you ask me one damn thing
I'm the one with the master dream
Now tried and did all best you could
That's why I had to leave Hollywood
And people say that I am slick
Refer that back to Tricky Dick

Let me make this perfectly clear
To everyone out there if you can hear
Can't you wait, I win a lot of dates
I know I should erase those Memorex tapes

And that was a historical move in time
As you heard the president do their rhyme
Plop, plop, fizz, fizz, and that's the way it is

Here I am, being smooth
But people know me as being cool
Now kids, here's our lesson for the day
Take time in what we have to say
And listen to these TV reruns
Of Redd Foxx's Sanford and Son
Thank you very much, for givin' me the time
To talk about some lovely friends of mine
Esther you so ugly, this is the truth
When you look in the mirror it don't look at you
Yes you heard the real deal
Let's hear from Mr. Dangerfield

I tell you, I tell you, I get no respect
Even when I cash a good darn check
But it's plain I tell you, far as the eyes can see
Hey it's not easy being me

Hey I tell you something kid
Are we having a good time with this?
Ah ha, ah ha, ah ha, ah ha

Ga-du, ga-du, it's time
You mean Bugs for me to say my rhyme?

Hi, I'm Casey Kasem
When we come back we'll tell you how this record came to the top ten

For the next celebri-seconds
This record will conduct a test of the CFS, the Celebrity Funk System
If this had been an actual funk emergency, you would have been in tune to wait to this record was over and start it all over again. This concludes this test of the Celebrity Funk System