Scary Nightmare by Brian Posehn Lyrics

i want a new
the power of
hip to be
back in the
oh god, help me
help me

what is it, my little Brian?

oh, Grandma, I had the most awful nightmare
i was in Hell with the Devil and Huey Lewis
i'm still scared, Grandma

of course you're scared, Brian
it sounds like a very scary nightmare and you're a sad little wimp

um, but Grandma, what about my Viking blood you're always talking about?
how can I be a wimp?

easy, because you're not Swedish enough, silly Brian
see, I fucked up and married your grandpa
and because our loser son bonked your pathetic mom
you're only one quarter viking
and you're three quarters pussy