Hey Professor Flutesnoot by Boris the Sprinkler Lyrics

Hey [x4]

Hey Professor Flutesnoot, toiling at your desk
You got a test tube baby in an Erlenmeyer flask
You're my reciprocal, integral, binomial homey
You got virtual protons
Where's them protons that you owe me?

Hey Professor Flutesnoot [x4]

Hey Miss Grundy, keeper of the flame
There's such friction in your diction
For a fiction that's so lame
It's an abominative, nomitave, pejorative dystrophy
Helping-verb hoedown, apostrophe catastrophe

Hey Miss Grundy
Hey Professor Flutesnoot
Hey Miss Grundy
Hey Professor Flutesnoot
I said hey, hey
Hey, that's what my teacher told me
Hey, hey
Hey, that's what my teacher told me
Hey, hey
Hey, that's what my teacher told me
Hey, hey
Hey

Hey Mister Weatherbee, waitin' for your man
He got 23 demerits just for smoking in the can
You're a pearl-pated pillar of the picket fence community
But don't quit your day job for an Amway opportunity

Hey Mister Weatherbee
Hey Professor Flutesnoot
Hey Mister Weatherbee
Hey Professor Flutesnoot

Hey Mary Magdalene, will you wash my feet?
You're not like the others
You're so smart and you're so sweet
You can't heckle my shekels, but I know that you wanna
You're my first-trumpet strumpet, my iguana Madonna

Hey Mary Magdalene
Hey Professor Flutesnoot
Hey Mary Magdalene
Hey Professor Flutesnoot
I said hey [x4]