A Little Bit Better Still Bad by Border Patrol Lyrics

I had a plan and in my head it was a good one
I had a plan and in my head it seemed just fine
I'd simply say goodbye to those I love at Christmas
Then come home and blow the meat out of my mind

When I returned the room was still riddled with rubbish
When I returned the room was lonely as before
But somewhere between broken bottles and the mattress
I found the will to keep my brains off of the floor

A little bit better (still bad)
A little bit better (still bad)
The days come and go
Got nothing to show
You still might be better off dead

I went to work and tried to focus on the future
I went to work and tried to focus on the screen
But every task I took on seemed to leave me lower
So I browsed the news and drank too much caffeine
The more I sat the more my mind made pins and needles
The more I sat the more the dread dug in my chest
I'd fantasize of all the ways that I would end it
From the safety of my swivel chair and desk

A little bit better (still bad)
A little bit better (still bad)
You called your family today
Had nothing to say
But you didn't give into the dread

I woke up and stared for hours at the ceiling
I woke up and stared for hours at the wall
I didn't feel remorse for not wanting to be here
I didn't feel too much of anything at all

But there was nothing that could hurt me in that moment
And there was nothing for me in the life I knew
In that moment something unexpected happened
Out of nothing, something grew

A little bit better (x16)