I Wanna Be A Lifeguard by Blotto Lyrics

Selling shoes
Another loser working in a shopping mall
9 to 5
A slave driver telling me "Get on the ball!"
A crowded store
I kneel before them
Misery beyond compare
Sweaty socks
A lady boxer
What's she got against fresh air?
I want an ocean and some sunscreen lotion
Take me to the beach with a thousand pretty girls in reach

CHORUS
I, I, I wanna be a lifeguard (help, help, help, help)
I, I, I wanna guard your life
I, I, I wanna be a lifeguard (lifeguard, lifeguard)
Hardly any clothes (lifeguard)
Sand between my toes (lifeguard)
White stuff on my nose
Selling shoes
Another loser working in a shopping mall
I'm getting fat
What does it matter?
Nobody cares at all
But next July, I'll say goodbye to every out-of-it, dull-witted fool
Convert their feet into meters, marking distance at the swimming pool
Summer blondes revealing tanlines
I'll make more moves than Allied Van Lines

CHORUS
I, I, I wanna be a lifeguard (be a big man, now... get a great tan, now)
I, I, I wanna guard your life
I, I, I wanna be a lifeguard (lifeguard, lifeguard)
Sitting on my chair (lifeguard)
In the salty air (lifeguard)
White stuff on my nose
I, I, I wanna be a lifeguard (help, help, help, help)
I, I, I wanna guard your life
I, I, I wanna be a lifeguard (lifeguard, lifeguard)
Lounging on the deck (lifeguard)
Whistle 'round my neck (lifeguard)
White stuff in my nose
I, I, I wanna be a lifeguard (lifeguard, lifeguard)