A Tale of a Tub ACT 5. SCENE 2. by Ben Jonson Lyrics
Clench, Medlay, Pan, Scriben, Tub, Hilts.[To them.
Cle.
I Wonder where the Queens High Constable is!
I vear they ha' made 'un away.
Med.
No zure; the Justice
Dare not conzent to that. He'll zee 'un forth coming.
Pan. He must, vor we can all take Corpulent Oath,
We zaw 'un go in there.
Scr.
I, upon Record!
The Clock dropt Twelve at Maribone.
Med.
You are right, D'oge!
Zet down to a minute, now 'tis a'most vowre.
Cle.
Here comes Squire Tub.
Scr.
And's Governour, Mr. Basket
Hilts, do you know 'un, a valiant wise vellow!
Az tall a Man on his Hands, as goes on veet.
Bless you, Mass' Basket.
Hil.
Thank you, good D'oge.
Tub.
Who's that?
Hil.
D'oge Scriben, the great Writer, Sir, of Chalcot.
Tub.
And, who the rest?
Hil.
The wisest Heads o' the Hundred.
Medlay
the Joyner, Head-borough of Islington,
Pan of Belsize, and Clench, the Leach of Hamsted,
The High Constables Counsel, here, of Finsbury.
Tub.
Prezent me to 'em, Hilts, Squire Tub of Totten.
Hil.
Wise Men of Finsbury, make place for a Squire,
I bring to your acquaintance, Tub of Totten.
Squire Tub, my Master, loves all Men of Vertue,
And longs (as one would zay) till he be one on you.
Cle.
His Worship's wel'cun to our Company:
Would 't were wiser for 'un.
Pup.
Here be some on us,
Are call'd the Witty Men, over a Hundred.
Scr.
And zome a Thousand, when the Muster-day
comes.
Tub.
I long (as my Man Hilts said, and my Governour)
To be adopt in your Society.
Can any Man make a Masque here i' this Company?
Pan.
A Masque! what's that?
Scr.
A Mumming, or a Shew,
With Vizards and fine Clothes.
Cle.
A Disguise, Neighbour,
Is the true word: There stands the Man can do't, Sir:
Medlay the Joyner, In-and-In of Islington,
The only Man at a Disguise in Middlesex.
Tub.
But who shall write it?
Hil.
Scriben, the great Writer.
Scr.
He'll do't alone, Sir; he will joyn with no man:
Though he be a Joyner, in design he calls it,
He must be sole Inventer: In-and-In
Draws with no other in's Project, he'll tell you,
It cannot else be feazeable, or conduce:
Those are his ruling words? Pleaze you to hear 'un?
Tub.
Yes, Mr. In-and-In, I have heard of you.
Med. I can do nothing, I.
Cle.
He can do all, Sir.
Med.
They'll tell you so.
Tub.
I'ld have a Toy presented,
A Tale of a Tub, a Story of my self,
You can express a Tub.
Med.
If it conduce
To the Design, whate'er is feazeable:
I can express a Wash-house (if need be),
With a whole Pedigree of Tubs. Tub. No, one
Will be enough to note our Name and Family:
Squire Tub of Totten, and to shew my Adventures
This very day. I'ld have it in Tubs-Hall,
At Totten-Court, my Lady Mothers House;
My House indeed; for I am Heir to it.
Med.
If I might see the place, and had survey'd it,
I could say more: For all Invention, Sir,
Comes by degrees, and on the view of Nature,
A world of things concur to the design,
Which make it feazible, if Art conduce.
Tub.
You say well, witty Mr. In-and-In.
How long ha' you studied, Ingine? Med. Since I first
Joyn'd, or did in-lay in Wit, some vorty year.
Tub.
A pretty time! Basket, go you and wait
On Master In-and-In, to Totten-Court,
And all the other wise Masters: Shew 'em the Hall:
And taste the Language of the Buttery to 'em:
Let 'em see all the Tubs about the House,
That can raise Matter, till I come — which shall be
Within an Hour, at least.
Cle.
It will be glorious,
If In-and-In will undertake it, Sir:
He has a monstrous Medlay Wit o' his own.
Tub.
Spare for no cost, either in Boards or Hoops,
To architect your Tub: Ha' you ne'er a Cooper
At London, call'd Vitruvius? Send for him;
Or old John Haywood, call him to you, to help.
Scr.
He scorns the Motion, trust to him alone.
Cle.
I Wonder where the Queens High Constable is!
I vear they ha' made 'un away.
Med.
No zure; the Justice
Dare not conzent to that. He'll zee 'un forth coming.
Pan. He must, vor we can all take Corpulent Oath,
We zaw 'un go in there.
Scr.
I, upon Record!
The Clock dropt Twelve at Maribone.
Med.
You are right, D'oge!
Zet down to a minute, now 'tis a'most vowre.
Cle.
Here comes Squire Tub.
Scr.
And's Governour, Mr. Basket
Hilts, do you know 'un, a valiant wise vellow!
Az tall a Man on his Hands, as goes on veet.
Bless you, Mass' Basket.
Hil.
Thank you, good D'oge.
Tub.
Who's that?
Hil.
D'oge Scriben, the great Writer, Sir, of Chalcot.
Tub.
And, who the rest?
Hil.
The wisest Heads o' the Hundred.
Medlay
the Joyner, Head-borough of Islington,
Pan of Belsize, and Clench, the Leach of Hamsted,
The High Constables Counsel, here, of Finsbury.
Tub.
Prezent me to 'em, Hilts, Squire Tub of Totten.
Hil.
Wise Men of Finsbury, make place for a Squire,
I bring to your acquaintance, Tub of Totten.
Squire Tub, my Master, loves all Men of Vertue,
And longs (as one would zay) till he be one on you.
Cle.
His Worship's wel'cun to our Company:
Would 't were wiser for 'un.
Pup.
Here be some on us,
Are call'd the Witty Men, over a Hundred.
Scr.
And zome a Thousand, when the Muster-day
comes.
Tub.
I long (as my Man Hilts said, and my Governour)
To be adopt in your Society.
Can any Man make a Masque here i' this Company?
Pan.
A Masque! what's that?
Scr.
A Mumming, or a Shew,
With Vizards and fine Clothes.
Cle.
A Disguise, Neighbour,
Is the true word: There stands the Man can do't, Sir:
Medlay the Joyner, In-and-In of Islington,
The only Man at a Disguise in Middlesex.
Tub.
But who shall write it?
Hil.
Scriben, the great Writer.
Scr.
He'll do't alone, Sir; he will joyn with no man:
Though he be a Joyner, in design he calls it,
He must be sole Inventer: In-and-In
Draws with no other in's Project, he'll tell you,
It cannot else be feazeable, or conduce:
Those are his ruling words? Pleaze you to hear 'un?
Tub.
Yes, Mr. In-and-In, I have heard of you.
Med. I can do nothing, I.
Cle.
He can do all, Sir.
Med.
They'll tell you so.
Tub.
I'ld have a Toy presented,
A Tale of a Tub, a Story of my self,
You can express a Tub.
Med.
If it conduce
To the Design, whate'er is feazeable:
I can express a Wash-house (if need be),
With a whole Pedigree of Tubs. Tub. No, one
Will be enough to note our Name and Family:
Squire Tub of Totten, and to shew my Adventures
This very day. I'ld have it in Tubs-Hall,
At Totten-Court, my Lady Mothers House;
My House indeed; for I am Heir to it.
Med.
If I might see the place, and had survey'd it,
I could say more: For all Invention, Sir,
Comes by degrees, and on the view of Nature,
A world of things concur to the design,
Which make it feazible, if Art conduce.
Tub.
You say well, witty Mr. In-and-In.
How long ha' you studied, Ingine? Med. Since I first
Joyn'd, or did in-lay in Wit, some vorty year.
Tub.
A pretty time! Basket, go you and wait
On Master In-and-In, to Totten-Court,
And all the other wise Masters: Shew 'em the Hall:
And taste the Language of the Buttery to 'em:
Let 'em see all the Tubs about the House,
That can raise Matter, till I come — which shall be
Within an Hour, at least.
Cle.
It will be glorious,
If In-and-In will undertake it, Sir:
He has a monstrous Medlay Wit o' his own.
Tub.
Spare for no cost, either in Boards or Hoops,
To architect your Tub: Ha' you ne'er a Cooper
At London, call'd Vitruvius? Send for him;
Or old John Haywood, call him to you, to help.
Scr.
He scorns the Motion, trust to him alone.