Barnsley Rap by Barnsley Bill Lyrics
[Intro]
He's not the man from Mars, he's not Johnny B. Goode
He's not Johnny Reggae, he's not Captain Kirk
He's not Jilted John, he's not Flash Gordon
He's not Major Tom
[Verse 1]
But Barnsley Bill
Hip-hip-hip, rapping hop
Don't you dare stop, 'til you reach the top
All you girls need a lad like me, to take you to where you want to be
'Cause I'm Barnsley Bill, King o' t' Dales
And when I rap, I never fail
Hull in east and Leeds in west
Everyone will tell thee I'm the best
[Chorus]
Tripe, tripe, tripe an' chips
If you're wearing cap, you know it fits
Tripe, tripe, tripe an' chips
If you're wearing cap, you know it fits
Rap the pub down, rock the pub up
Shake your fat down, rap the pub down
Sup your ale up, rap the pub down
Do your blouse up, rap the pub down
[Verse 2]
I met Wakefield Sue, in the snow
She beat me at darts but she couldn't do the rap
I said "hey there Sue, let's not dance, we can go back to my place, give your legs a chance"
She said, "ee, my legs are made for walking"
Ee my mouth is made for talking
I'm Barnsley Bill, i'm quick on the quip
And I talk the legs off, a train with pip
'Cause now ain't the age of the train
'Cause now ain't the age of the plane
'Cause this is the hour of the mouth
From York in north, to Derby in south
[Chorus]
Tripe, tripe, tripe an' chips
From smile on your face to curve on your hips
Tripe, tripe, tripe an' chips
From smile on your face to curve on your hips
[Instrumental break]
Rap the club down, rock the club up
Shake the dales down, rap the sheep up
Rap the club down, sup your ale up
Do your blouse up, take your kegs down
[Verse 3]
There's Doreen who lives in the Dales
She wears her shoes and likes to save whales
She asked me back for some ginseng tea
I said, "what do you want, wi' a lad like me?"
She said, "Ooh Bill, just you and me, we'll have a whale of a time, and I'll say this"
I said, "Doreen, you're a heck of the lass, but me mastermind says I ought to pass"
Because Barnsley Bill, ain't esoteric
I don't know what that means, ask me mate, Derek
He went to Bradford university, to study sociology
He takes his girl to see Maria Callas
I'd rather sit and watch, Dallas
Or rap up Mic at the local club
It beats the shimmy and the shake and the shove
He's fine, he's grand, he's fab, he's good
But I can rap the club like you wish you could
All you boys and girls out there
Do you know how to reach off the air?
Do you know how to twist?
Do you know how to jump?
Do you know how to wiggle?
Do you know how to bump?
Do you know how to enjoy the slump
If you wave your hands in the air, and wrap your legs around the door
If you leap up and down and shake your feet
If you kiss your father on the cheek
If you kick your legs out slow and fast
I'll promise you you'll look reet daft
And you're liable to pull a muscle an' all
[Chorus]
Rap the pub down, rap the pub up
Shake your rap down, do your zip up
Rap the pub down, sip your ale up
Rap the pub down, bring your feet up
[Outro]
I'm Judge Disco my law is word
This is the worst rap I've ever heard
You've been driving drunk in stolen cars
I sentence you to life on Mars
Tripe, tripe, tripe an' chips
If you're wearing cap, you know it fits
Tripe, tripe, tripe an' chips
If you're wearing cap, you know it fits
Tripe, tripe, tripe an' chips
From smile on your face to curve on your hips
Tripe, tripe, tripe an' chips
He's not the man from Mars, he's not Johnny B. Goode
He's not Johnny Reggae, he's not Captain Kirk
He's not Jilted John, he's not Flash Gordon
He's not Major Tom
[Verse 1]
But Barnsley Bill
Hip-hip-hip, rapping hop
Don't you dare stop, 'til you reach the top
All you girls need a lad like me, to take you to where you want to be
'Cause I'm Barnsley Bill, King o' t' Dales
And when I rap, I never fail
Hull in east and Leeds in west
Everyone will tell thee I'm the best
[Chorus]
Tripe, tripe, tripe an' chips
If you're wearing cap, you know it fits
Tripe, tripe, tripe an' chips
If you're wearing cap, you know it fits
Rap the pub down, rock the pub up
Shake your fat down, rap the pub down
Sup your ale up, rap the pub down
Do your blouse up, rap the pub down
[Verse 2]
I met Wakefield Sue, in the snow
She beat me at darts but she couldn't do the rap
I said "hey there Sue, let's not dance, we can go back to my place, give your legs a chance"
She said, "ee, my legs are made for walking"
Ee my mouth is made for talking
I'm Barnsley Bill, i'm quick on the quip
And I talk the legs off, a train with pip
'Cause now ain't the age of the train
'Cause now ain't the age of the plane
'Cause this is the hour of the mouth
From York in north, to Derby in south
[Chorus]
Tripe, tripe, tripe an' chips
From smile on your face to curve on your hips
Tripe, tripe, tripe an' chips
From smile on your face to curve on your hips
[Instrumental break]
Rap the club down, rock the club up
Shake the dales down, rap the sheep up
Rap the club down, sup your ale up
Do your blouse up, take your kegs down
[Verse 3]
There's Doreen who lives in the Dales
She wears her shoes and likes to save whales
She asked me back for some ginseng tea
I said, "what do you want, wi' a lad like me?"
She said, "Ooh Bill, just you and me, we'll have a whale of a time, and I'll say this"
I said, "Doreen, you're a heck of the lass, but me mastermind says I ought to pass"
Because Barnsley Bill, ain't esoteric
I don't know what that means, ask me mate, Derek
He went to Bradford university, to study sociology
He takes his girl to see Maria Callas
I'd rather sit and watch, Dallas
Or rap up Mic at the local club
It beats the shimmy and the shake and the shove
He's fine, he's grand, he's fab, he's good
But I can rap the club like you wish you could
All you boys and girls out there
Do you know how to reach off the air?
Do you know how to twist?
Do you know how to jump?
Do you know how to wiggle?
Do you know how to bump?
Do you know how to enjoy the slump
If you wave your hands in the air, and wrap your legs around the door
If you leap up and down and shake your feet
If you kiss your father on the cheek
If you kick your legs out slow and fast
I'll promise you you'll look reet daft
And you're liable to pull a muscle an' all
[Chorus]
Rap the pub down, rap the pub up
Shake your rap down, do your zip up
Rap the pub down, sip your ale up
Rap the pub down, bring your feet up
[Outro]
I'm Judge Disco my law is word
This is the worst rap I've ever heard
You've been driving drunk in stolen cars
I sentence you to life on Mars
Tripe, tripe, tripe an' chips
If you're wearing cap, you know it fits
Tripe, tripe, tripe an' chips
If you're wearing cap, you know it fits
Tripe, tripe, tripe an' chips
From smile on your face to curve on your hips
Tripe, tripe, tripe an' chips