Dear Me by Aija Mayrock Lyrics

Dear Me

i used to beat you up
because i believed
that if i was the meanest i could be
to me
no one else could hurt me

i called that strength
but really it was fear
i couldn't stop hearing
the words my bullies used to call me

i couldn't stop hearing them
because i believed them
and so i took on that role
the biggest bully i could be
but to myself

i didn't realize i hold the key to that level of cruelty
the way i speak to myself
grows like a weed or rose
from the soil
made of how i feel about myself
when i looked in a mirror
i used to wince
but now
i wink

i would tell myself
i love myself so much
that i didn't need to eat that meal
it’s called “discipline”

another word for
looking in the mirror
and seeing a girl
that was never thin
enough
that didn't deserve dessert
insert inspirational phrase about discipline
and bullshit ways to sculpt a body
that’s been sculpted enough

Dear Me,
you are enough
you have always been enough

Dear Everyone,
when you speak to yourself
do you talk to yourself
like you are a friend or a bully

because when you speak to yourself as the bully
you are teaching yourself to
accept cruelty
that cruelty is good and safe
you are teaching yourself
that your safe place
is one of pain

be gentle with your heart
be gentle with your body
nothing is guaranteed
except the guarantee
that the longest relationship you will ever have
is with yourself