The Inspector-General Act 2 Scene 2 by (Nikolai Gogol) Lyrics
Osip and Khlestakov.
KHLESTAKOV
Here! [Hands him his cap and cane.] What, been warming the bed again!
OSIP
Why should I have been warming the bed? Have I never seen a bed before?
KHLESTAKOV
You're lying. The bed's all tumbled up.
OSIP
What do I want a bed for? Don't I know what a bed is like? I have legs and can use them to stand on. I don't need your bed.
KHLESTAKOV
[walking up and down the room]. Go see if there isn't some tobacco in the pouch.
OSIP
What tobacco? You emptied it out four days ago.
KHLESTAKOV
[pacing the room and twisting his lips. Finally he says in a loud resolute voice]. Listen—a—Osip.
OSIP
Yes, sir?
KHLESTAKOV
[In a voice just as loud, but not quite so resolute]. Go down there.
OSIP
Where?
KHLESTAKOV
[in a voice not at all resolute, nor loud, but almost in entreaty]. Down to the restaurant—tell them—to send up dinner.
OSIP
No, I won't.
KHLESTAKOV
How dare you, you fool!
OSIP
It won't do any good, anyhow. The landlord said he won't let you have anything more to eat.
KHLESTAKOV
How dare he! What nonsense is this?
OSIP
He'll go to the Governor, too, he says. It's two weeks now since you've paid him, he says. You and your master are cheats, he says, and your master is a blackleg besides, he says. We know the breed. We've seen swindlers like him before.
KHLESTAKOV. And you're delighted, I suppose, to repeat all this to me, you donkey.
OSIP
"Every Tom, Dick and Harry comes and lives here," he says, "and runs up debts so that you can't even put him out. I'm not going to fool about it," he says, "I'm going straight to the Governor and have him arrested and put in jail."
KHLESTAKOV
That'll do now, you fool. Go down at once and tell him to have dinner sent up. The coarse brute! The idea!
OSIP
Hadn't I better call the landlord here?
KHLESTAKOV
What do I want the landlord for? Go and tell him yourself.
OSIP
But really, master—
KHLESTAKOV
Well, go, the deuce take you. Call the landlord.
Osip goes out.
KHLESTAKOV
Here! [Hands him his cap and cane.] What, been warming the bed again!
OSIP
Why should I have been warming the bed? Have I never seen a bed before?
KHLESTAKOV
You're lying. The bed's all tumbled up.
OSIP
What do I want a bed for? Don't I know what a bed is like? I have legs and can use them to stand on. I don't need your bed.
KHLESTAKOV
[walking up and down the room]. Go see if there isn't some tobacco in the pouch.
OSIP
What tobacco? You emptied it out four days ago.
KHLESTAKOV
[pacing the room and twisting his lips. Finally he says in a loud resolute voice]. Listen—a—Osip.
OSIP
Yes, sir?
KHLESTAKOV
[In a voice just as loud, but not quite so resolute]. Go down there.
OSIP
Where?
KHLESTAKOV
[in a voice not at all resolute, nor loud, but almost in entreaty]. Down to the restaurant—tell them—to send up dinner.
OSIP
No, I won't.
KHLESTAKOV
How dare you, you fool!
OSIP
It won't do any good, anyhow. The landlord said he won't let you have anything more to eat.
KHLESTAKOV
How dare he! What nonsense is this?
OSIP
He'll go to the Governor, too, he says. It's two weeks now since you've paid him, he says. You and your master are cheats, he says, and your master is a blackleg besides, he says. We know the breed. We've seen swindlers like him before.
KHLESTAKOV. And you're delighted, I suppose, to repeat all this to me, you donkey.
OSIP
"Every Tom, Dick and Harry comes and lives here," he says, "and runs up debts so that you can't even put him out. I'm not going to fool about it," he says, "I'm going straight to the Governor and have him arrested and put in jail."
KHLESTAKOV
That'll do now, you fool. Go down at once and tell him to have dinner sent up. The coarse brute! The idea!
OSIP
Hadn't I better call the landlord here?
KHLESTAKOV
What do I want the landlord for? Go and tell him yourself.
OSIP
But really, master—
KHLESTAKOV
Well, go, the deuce take you. Call the landlord.
Osip goes out.